ValenEvilTine
by Megawacky Max
Summary: The final chapter is up! Right after beating the blondie, Zim and Gaz have a little missunderstanding and Gaz gets annoyed with Zim. Will the alien save Valentines Day?
1. The odd, pink, human festivity

  
-o-   
  
**"Valen-Evil-Tine"   
  
By:**   
Megawacky Max   
  
-o-   
  
**From the author:**   
  
Greetings. My name is Max... "Megawacky" Max. I'm proud to expose my second story for the _Invader Zim_ section of Fanfiction.Net. Before going on, there are a couple of persons I would like to thank.   
  
First, my beloved **Eve**, who was always a moral support for my creative skills. She's also responsible of the many grammar corrections along the following story. Next, to **Tyoria**, because she was responsible of submerging my brain in episodes of Zim, so this story would have never really existed without her.   
  
If there are more persons I should have thanked, but I did not... please, accept my apologies.   
  
Now, the story: Zim faces Valentines Day for the first time since he landed in the planet. May the clueless alien make his way through it? But be alert, because not only Zim has problems to face this special day. There will be a second character involved in a vortex of bad memories, trying hard to escape from it.   
  
Let's stop the suspense. I'll let you read this story I've called _"Valen-Evil-Tine"_... a story which begins like this:   
  
-o-   
  
**Valen-Evil-Tine   
  
- Chapter 1 -   
The odd, pink, human festivity**   


The sun had rose into the blue, Earth sky that February morning. The kids were all walking to "skool" as the hands of the clocks were reaching the time for the first bell. Among the huge variety of different faces among the crowd of children, still waiting outside the building of knowledge, one of them was certainly more different than anybody else, and yet, as "human" as any other kid. 

The green-skinned, no-eared kid walked among the crowd of young students, the ones who called him "freak", with the determination every Irken Invader must have. He was expecting another day of human knowledge, thanks to his teacher, Miss Bitters, giving her lectures in a cold voice. Lectures he used to gather information about the Human Customs. 

Zim didn't know, however, that day would be totally different. 

-Dib, stop following me -Zim said. He narrowed his disguised eyes and his body language was one of contempt as he walked up the skool's steps. 

A kid jumped out from inside a bush that Zim had passed. He stared at Zim's back. 

-How'd you know I was...? -the pale kid began. 

-You use the same bush as a... "secret must-spy-Zim" hideout every day. -Zim said, turning to the other guy. He smirked. -You were lucky. I could have just ZAPPED the bush.- 

Dib, the pale guy, scowled from behind his big, round glasses. 

-Well, I'll find another way! -he declared-. I won't let you... alien... do any weird stuff to control this planet! 

-Relax -Zim mumbled-, I'll let you know when I'm trying something weird, so you can come and see my TRIUMPH over the lousy, lame... *stinkin'* humanity.- 

They stayed like that, both glaring at each other until the bell rang. Still scowling, both students, the human and the alien, walked into the classroom. Zim, however, stopped at the door. His masked eyes widened in surprise when he realized there were new decorations in the classroom. It was so... *pink*. 

-What -he said- is all this... this... pinky... pink... phenomena? 

The walls of the classroom were full of pink paper hearts, something Zim had never seen in the room before. What was the reason behind it? Zim didn't know, but he needed to act like a real human in order to not be discovered as the alien he was. He just walked slowly to his desk, and sat there, looking nervously at the many paper hearts on the walls. 

-What are all those strange shapes on the walls for? -Zim murmured-. Maybe is some kind of human... -he waved a hand-... custom... 

But in that moment, Miss Bitters appeared in the classroom. That was enough to turn off the few chats along the squared, closed surface. Zim (as well as the rest of the students) saw her grabbing a piece of chalk and writing some white words on the green surface of the blackboard: "Valentine Day" could be read after she moved away, glancing at the class with gloomy eyes behind her glasses. 

-Valentines Day -she said in her own well-known dark tone-. This is the pathetic time of the year when people have that horrendous disease, called "Love". 

The entire class was silent. Miss Bitters resumed her speech. 

-Not that *I* care... but you all are too young to understand. However, you are old enough to have your own, little, poor, useless romance... -she scowled-. And when you grow up, if you dare to, of course, you will realize your "beloved one" will run away with a better one, leaving you forever and laughing at your face due to your then-hopeless romantic life. Kids, know it from now on... your romantic life is doomed... doomed... *doomed*... 

As usual, the word "doomed" seemed to be stuck in her brain, forcing it to keep repeating it, over and over. That gave time to Zim to say what he was thinking. 

-Valentines Day?? -he scowled-. What kind of unknown, earthling propaganda is that, anyway? 

-Don't you *know*, Zim? -the voice of his Nemesis called. Zim looked at his left: all the other kids were bored, minding their own business... except Dib, who had sneaked over to Zim's desk. 

-Know *what*? -Zim said. 

-Valentines Day, Zim -Dib smiled-. I thought you knew the human festivities. How are you planning to conquer this world, if you don't even know how the days work? 

-Oh, *Valenines Day*! -Zim giggled-. Suuuuure I know it... Is the day when... Like... you'll see... 

Zim blabbed, and Dib was enjoying his weak moment. Zim realized that, so he hurried to say... 

-Uh, I think I have to go to the bathroom! See ya! 

While Miss Bitter kept repeating "doomed" to herself, while the class kept their attentions focused on whatever human minds focus on, while Dib trained a true look of skepticism on the green guy, Zim stood up and walked out of the classroom. He closed the door and, after a quick glance down both sides of the hall, a communicator arm came from his mechanical backpack. Zim took it in a fast, nervous movement and yelled... 

-GIR!!! I need your help! Meet me at skool, RIGHT NOW! 

The communicator arm folded itself into the backpack, but before it was totally stored, Zim heard something approaching very fast. Just one instant before, the ceiling over Zim cracked, and a small green little pup landed on the alien with maximum force…along with several pieces of the broken ceiling. 

-Gir, reporting for duty! -the strange green pup said as it was laying on the floor, next to its owner. 

Zim stood up in a small jump. 

-GIR!! What you took so long?! 

The green pup stood up in its two short, black rear feet and glanced at the alien with huge, vacant eyes for a second, then closed them cutely. 

-Traffic -the pup just said. In the path from Zim's house to skool, several cars and trucks where spotted with Gir-shaped holes in their iron structures. 

-No time for that, Gir -Zim said in low voice, approaching the pup and looking everywhere-. The humans are all acting stranger today. They have hung some kind of strange-shaped pink forms in the walls! I want you to gather all the info you can get about this strange behavior, Gir. 

The pup saluted, then spoke in a slightly deeper tone. 

-Yes, my master!- 

And without any other word, its rear feet expelled a blue flame of combusted fire, making Gir take off at top speed in the direction of the hole in the ceiling... and making a second hole, next to the first one, when it drifted off course a little. 

Zim kept track of his loyal Gir as it disappeared in the distance, until he heard a mocking voice behind him. 

-Zim needs help understanding? -the voice laughed. Zim turned and discovered it was Dib-. So I was right. You don't know about Valentines Day! -he smiled. 

-I didn't KNOW... Oh, but I *will* -Zim said as he narrowed his disguised eyes-. Don't be so happy, Dib. You won't catch me by surprise by not knowing what... "valenine" is. I will soon know it. 

To his surprise, Dib kept his challenging smile. 

-The meaning of Valentines Day is *nothing*, compared with your REAL reason of doom. 

Zim raised an eyebrow. 

-What do you mean? -he slowly said. 

-You shall know it by the end of this class. Until then, Zim! 

Dib giggled as he returned to the classroom. Zim stayed there, confused, glancing at the now closed door of his class. What was his Nemesis talking about? Scowling and ignoring whatever Dib was planning, he entered the classroom and sat in his chair, while Miss Bitters kept repeating "doomed" in a soft, dark tone. 

*** * ***

The class was not amusing that day. After about one hour of "dooms" from the teacher, she ordered the kids to make some paper hearts for the celebration. Zim, clueless, cut a perfectly-shaped anatomically-correct heart in the pink paper. He didn't forget any artery, which some kids around him turned sickly green when looking at his masterpiece. 

It was five to three. The class was about to finish, and there was no signal of any threat coming from Dib, even though he smiled that annoying smile every time Zim peeked at him from his seat. It was when Zim thought Dib had pretended all the time, when Miss Bitters gave the announcement. 

-Class -she murmured-... as you know, there's a special Valentines Day dance for tomorrow night. Since this is one of the most pathetic and humiliating events of your young doomed lives, I'm *ordering* *all* of you to show up... WITH a dance partner -and she grinned evilly at this point-. Those of you who dare not come to this event, or who show without a couple, will... 

-A couple of what? -asked Zim, all of a sudden. 

Miss Bitters gave him a tedious look. 

-A *couple*, Zim... A DANCING couple. 

Zim gulped, which was a nice sight for Miss Bitters. 

-I was saying -she continued-, those who dare come without a couple, will get a MONTH'S DETENTION. 

At the mention of the words, many kids pulled back. The bell rang. 

–Go…now… -Miss Bitters whispered. 

All the kids left the classroom in a small stampede of screams... all except Zim. He was still in his chair, his jaw hanging, panicked at the idea of having to appear at a social human event, with the possible danger of being discovered. 

-Zim, move it. 

Zim reacted. Miss Bitters glasses were just a couple inches from his eyes. He stood up and walked to the door. 

-I'm expecting you to be at the dance tomorrow, Zim -she said-. Or you will wish you had never been born. 

Zim chose to ignore that threat and exited skool as soon and "humanly normal" as possible. As soon as he stepped off the stairs, he narrowed eyes again. 

-Stop following me, Dib. 

Dib jumped out from the same bush he had his in that morning, facing Zim's back again. Only that this time, he was smiling. 

-See? -he said-. You won't escape this time! You will be forced to appear at the dance WITH a couple, and I will be there to expose you to the class, and then, to the WORLD! 

Zim turned at him, still scowling. 

-Maybe *detention* is not THAT bad... 

-Detention is NOTHING -Dib laughed-, compared with what everybody will say about you! All the kids who have skipped the Valentines Day dance have been called FREAKS, and WEIRDOS! It's just a matter of you not appearing in order that everybody at skool will suspect your "human" behavior! 

Zim's eyes grew large with fear. That was not good news. 

-Then maybe I'll appear, Dib -he said, scowling again-. Yes... I shall appear... and I will be the most Human-Like being in that stupid event! 

Zim turned away and began to walk, but Dib kept yelling. 

-That's no problem! You still need a COUPLE! And you'll have to pick a human, because if you dare try to use a robot, I'LL REVEAL IT TO THE WHOLE SKOOL!! -he laughed his lungs out-. This time, Zim, you will be doomed for sure!! 

Zim, worried, kept walking home, hoping Dib hadn't sensed his current fear. 

Dib was right, Zim thought as he approached his house. This whole "Valentines" thingy was a total danger to his invasion mission. What was he going to do? The thought kept floating in his mind as he walked the short trip from the fence to his door, carefully protected by the guard-gnomes. Zim entered the house, hoping Gir could have found some useful data. 

-GIR!!! -he yelled as the front door was closed. 

The house rumbled. Zim fought for balance as the floor under his feet shook for some unknown reason. His sight locked on the kitchen gateway. His jaw dropped in panic when he spotted a huge, pink wave of paper hearts, rumbling toward him. Two seconds later, Zim had been buried in the pink sea, which almost reached the ceiling full of tubes and alien devices. Zim emerged from the depths of the pink sea and glanced at it with kind of panic in his eyes. 

-GIIIIRRRR!!! -he yelled for a second time, with a tone of anger. 

Next to him, another thing emerged. It was Gir, his loyal robot, not wearing the pup disguise this time. It glanced at Zim with its bright blue eyes and a big smile in its metallic mouth. 

-Wheeee!! I like this day!! -it said. 

-GIR! What is all this... junk... doing in the house?! 

-It's the search results! -Gir happily said-. Valentines Day is niiiiiice!! 

-Is a NIGHTMARE, you mean! Gir! I'm being forced to go to a stupid dancy thing! Otherwise, they shall suspect I'm not human! 

-Dance! Wheee!! 

-GIR! Concentrate! -Zim said, annoyed-. Our mission is in DANGER! Quick! Tell me everything you've learned of this... ugly-looking day this far! 

Gir dove amongst the hundreds of paper hearts. Seconds later, it emerged again, carrying the TV with it. 

-This might explain a few things! -it said, connecting its internal cables to the TV's. The screen suddenly showed Gir's discoveries (in black and white, with marks in the film). A narrator explained the images: a man and a woman in front of a huge heart. 

-Valentines Day -the narrator explained-: this is a special date to commemorate love. 

-Love?? -Zim murmured, rising an eyebrow. 

-On this special day, people enjoy the company of a beloved being, and they try to have a lovely get-together by means of affectionate signals, for instance; gifts and presents, such as candy or flowers, or maybe heart-shaped valentine cards. 

Zim stared with huge eyes when he saw a paper heart on the screen. 

-That looks like all those pieces of paper I saw in class today! -he said-. So that's what they were! 

Gir turned off the TV and let it "sink" into the pink sea. 

-Oooh no, the TV! -Gir lamented. 

-No time for that, Gir! -Zim pointed-. So, all this celebration is for a homage to human feelings, eh? Uhmm... THAT should be a tasky... eh... *task* for such an invader of MY class -he paused, lost in thought-. Uhmm... I must be at tomorrow's dance with a... couple. 

-A couple of what? -Gir asked. 

-A *dance* couple, Gir. 

-OOH! OOH! -Gir said, rising a hand- Choose me!! Choose me!! Please! Please! Please! 

-A *human* dance couple, Gir... -Zim frowned. 

-Oh... -Gir seemed disappointed-... I wanted to da-ance... –and then it smiled again-. Can I watch TV, now? 

-Not just yet, Gir... I am expected to go to the dance with a human dance couple. I'm afraid I can not go with a mechanical one, because *Dib* would discover me -Zim seemed lost in a thought-. Well... It doesn't seem *that* hard to "get a human couple"…thing... GIR! 

-Yes, my master! -it said, rising a hand to its forehead and scowling with now red eyes. 

-Let's go to the lab! -Zim proclaimed-. This Irken soldier will DEMONSTRATE he can get a dance couple! Ha-ha-ha-haaaaa!! 

And while Gir laughed with his master, both it and Zim were sucked by a huge tube, which had risen from the concealed mechanical floor, connected to the secret laboratory in the basement of the house. 

-o-


	2. The alien asks out

  
-o-   
  
**"Valen-Evil-Tine"   
  
By:**   
Megawacky Max   
  
-o-   
  
**- Chapter 2 -   
The alien asks out**   
  
-o-   
_I've corrected a few things among the text. Don't mind me._ -Megawacky Max   
-o-   


In the depths of Zim's lair, where his secret laboratory was located, the alien and his robot slave were working on their plan for Valentines Day. This plan would guarantee that no suspicion would be raised regarding Zim's "human" behavior. 

Zim was standing in front of a full-length mirror with his arms extended, smiling as he thought of how smart he was being. Gir was quickly moving around its master, measuring the sides of his alien body with measuring tape. 

-First, I need to find a human couple for this... dance -Zim smiled-. I shouldn't have problems, if I do everything right. GIR! -he suddenly yelled. 

Gir stayed at his side, raising a hand to its forehead. 

-Yes, my master! 

-You have been gathering information about this "Valenines" behavior. If I have to ask a human out, then I must be wearing specific clothes for the event. Dress me, Gir, according to the... joy... of this celebration. 

-Yaaay!! -the small robot smiled. Next, it flew around its master at top speed. 

Gir finished its job in matter of seconds. It stopped, standing to one side of Zim, smiling. 

-You like nice! -it chirped. 

-Is *this* what humans wear during this celebration?? -Zim asked. He was glancing at his image in the mirror. Gir had dressed him in a huge, pink, heart costume with sleeves and holes for his legs. Zim looked as if he was going to puke. 

-TV shows this a lot! -the small robot smiled. 

-The humans are all INSANE! -its master proclaimed, then calmed-. Okay... that is not important. If *this* is what they use, then I won't have any problems. Human she-beasts will be waiting in line, all wanting to be coupled with *Zim*! GIR! I'm going out to test the effectiveness of your work. I shall be back soon, with a human couple for tomorrow night! 

-Yaaaay! -Gir exclaimed, happy. 

Zim had decided. With energetic, self-sure steps, the disguised, pink-dressed alien stepped out of his house/HQ. He raised both hands to the blue, clear afternoon sky and exclaimed... 

-Come to me, human girls!! Ha-ha-ha-haaaaaa!!! 

Exactly ten minutes later... 

Zim opened the front door of the house with a violent kick. He stepped in, scowling, dragging a leg and the remains of the now-ripped pink heart costume. 

He slowly turned and slammed the door with all his strength. Zim turned again, glancing at the kitchen's gateway. 

-GIIIIRRRRRR!!!! -he yelled, furious. 

The house rumbled for the second time and Zim lost his balance yet again. 

-Oh, no... -he said, suddenly worried. 

He saw it again, the pink wave of paper hearts was rumbling at him from the kitchen. However, this time, the wave also had chocolate boxes, roses, and small Cupid statues. 

-AAAAAHHH!!! -the alien yelled. His jaw dropped as the wave "splattered" against him. 

Like the last time, it almost reached the ceiling. Zim emerged from the pink-and-chocolate ocean and yelled, stronger than ever: 

-GIIIIRRRRR!!! COME HERE *RIGHT NOW*!!! 

Gir emerged next to him, smiling. 

-Hi! -it said. Then it extended a metallic hand, holding out a heart-shaped box-. Chocolates? 

-Gir, this filthy costume was a total failure! The humans outside just LAUGHED at me, and that stupid dog chased me all the way here! -Here Zim held Gir by its shoulders- And it actually CAUGHT me!! 

-Oh... -the tiny helper just said-. You sure you don't want a chocolate? 

-Gir, I'm *ordering* you to dress me better. You just have ONE more chance, so DON'T WASTE IT!! 

-Yes, sir! -Gir said, with suddenly red eyes. Immediately, it grabbed its master's arm and forced him to dive with it, not paying attention to the sudden complaints. 

Gir "swam" until it reached one of the access ports to the basement labs. Zim kept complaining all the way down the tubes and even when they reached the underground laboratory. Gir didn't mind the screams of its master and dragged him to the mirror. Next, Gir flew around Zim, faster than the last time, with Zim still yelling for him to stop. Gir actually stopped, seconds later, to stand next to its master. 

-Ready, sir! -it said. 

Zim was speechless. He saw the reflection in the full-body mirror... but couldn't believe that it was HIM. Zim waved a hand at the reflection, finally reacting. 

-Gir... -he mumbled-. *this* is a good work. 

-Yay, thanks! -Gir said, its crimson eyes suddenly turning cyan. 

Zim was still staring at his new wardrobe: white pants, white jacket, a golden chain dangling to his belly, and lots of small-glitter-thingies on the edges of the jacket. On his feet were a pair of white small-heeled boots. Zim was dressed just like Elvis Presley. 

-I must admit, Gir -Zim said, smiling-, that I shall have great success with this new outfit. 

Zim suddenly raised his voice. 

-It is time, my partner, to go hunting human girls! -he exclaimed-. Let's go! The deadline grows closer!! 

-I like chocolates... -was all Gir said, eating a big bar of the dark candy. 

*** * ***

The city park. The kids were enjoying the afternoon by playing games and yelling happily. Zim, wearing the Elvis outfit, was peeking at a group of kids from behind a tree. 

-There... -he whispered-. It's time for me to conquer. Today: a human, tomorrow: THE WORLD! 

-Good luck... -a giggling voice said. 

Zim whirled around. Dib was behind him. 

-What are you doing here?! -Zim yelled-. What are you? Some kind of unicellular pest attached to my skin? 

-I'm here to prevent your "ask-a-girl" plan! That's what I'm doing here! 

-*You* are not going to ruin my plans, -Zim frowned-. I'm planning to ask a human out, so STEP AWAY! 

Zim hurried to push Dib aside. The human boy kept his bespectacled eyes focused on the alien. 

-By the way... Nice clothes -Dib joked. 

Zim came out the small group of trees and appeared in the middle of the throng of kids. Everybody got speechless when they saw 'that green kid' from school wearing such clothes. 

-What? -Zim wondered upon noticing the stares. 

The kids resumed playing, so Zim saw this as his chance to approach a girl. He soon spotted a group of three, skipping rope: that blonde "cool" girl from school and her two friends. He smiled evilly and approached. He stopped in front of them and the girls stopped playing as well, glancing at the disguised alien. 

-What do you want? -the blonde girl asked snobbishly. 

-Ahem... *I* am looking for a dance couple for tomorrow night's dance. Which of you considers yourself good enough to be honored... 

-Save it, freako -the blonde girl interrupted-. We all already have dates. And by the way, I wouldn't date you if you were the last human in this planet. 

-Really? -Zim frowned, even as the thought of "the last human on the planet" almost made him laugh. 

-You got it right, dork. 

-Eh... And you say ALL the girls already have couples? 

-Of course we do. And all the couples are much better than you are, by the way. 

Zim didn't find that funny, but instead of replying, he decided to scowl, turn, and start walking... until the blonde girl called after him. 

-Hey, Tim! 

-It's "ZIM" -he said, turning and scowling even more. 

-Yeah, whatever you say, "Elvis". If you're looking for a girl, you still have one last chance. 

-Oh... yes? -Zim asked, smiling a bit but never losing the scowl. 

-Yeah -the blonde girl said in a giggle, pointing over her shoulder with a thumb-, the Nerd Girl with Braces. That's the only one from our class with no date. I wonder *why*. 

The three girls laughed at the joke, but Zim didn't see it as funny. It was actually PERFECT for him: a lonely girl to date, who would never say "no". Zim had a couple. 

-Okay, thanks a lot, dyed girl. 

Zim left the scene as the blonde girl widened her eyes in embarrassment. 

-It's NATURAL, you, green twit!!! 

Zim kept walking and giggling of his own joke, in the search of the girl with braces. After a quick scan through the park, he finally found her alone, sitting on a deteriorated bench. Zim was behind a bush at that moment, looking at her and her solitude... but he was not alone. 

-Whassup, *Zim*? No girls for the *alien*? 

Zim frowned and looked back. Yes, you guessed right! That was Dib. 

-Well, I'm glad to announce to you, my unrespected enemy, that *I*, the great *Zim*, am about to step ahead in my mission of appearing to be a completely normal (and yet filthy) human worm being. 

-Yeah, like you could invite someone out -Dib said with a tiny smile-. I saw how that girl shot you down just a few minutes ago. 

-Just one girl, my enemy... Just *one*. I don't need a perfect human, or a smart one, or anything like that. *I* only need one girl of your age or so to ask out... and THERE she is. 

Zim pointed at the girl with braces from his hideout in the bushes. Dib gasped. 

-W-What?? Doesn't she have a date? She should! I thought every girl had a couple by now! 

-She is what you call a "nerd". People and nerds seem to not mix well, Dib. But don't worry, she will have a date soon. Right now, as a matter of fact. 

Dib's jaw dropped as Zim came out the bush, walking to the girl. He saw the alien stopping in front of her, and she turning and smiling at him. Dib stayed motionless as the sounds of Zim's voice came to him. 

-Hello, human sample. I happen to need a dance couple for tomorrow's dance. Will you...? 

-Nooo! Wait!!! -Dib yelled. 

Zim and the nerd girl focused their eyes on the bushes. They shifted wildly and Dib came out, running at the duo. He pushed Zim away and asked the girl: 

-Hi! My name is Dib! Want to be my dance partner for tomorrow night? 

The girl smiled. 

-WHAT?! -Zim exclaimed-. Now, wait a second! *I* was about to ask her that!! 

-No way! -Dib said-. I asked her first! 

As the guy and the alien argued, the girl of the braces sighed. 

-Two guys are fighting to take me out! -she whispered. 

-You won't get this girl, Zim! 

-Ha! She won't appear at that dance with YOU! 

-*I* already asked her! 

-That is meaningless! 

-Oh, yeah?! -Dib frowned. Next, he glanced at the girl and asked:- You'll come with me, right? 

Zim also glanced at the girl. 

-Now, wait a second! *I* approached first! Will you come with me? 

The nerdy girl with braces just smiled at the duo. 

-I don't know -she laughed-. I feel flattered someone is asking me out. 

-Not *someone*, but ZIM -the alien said, raising a clenched fist-. Every girl here would DIE to date me! 

-Yeah, sure -Dib murmured-, just wait until I expose you to the world. 

Dib and Zim glared at each other, showing their teeth and scowling hard. They were about to fight, when... 

-I've decided -the girl said in a soft laugh. Human and Alien glanced at her. 

-Have you chosen me?! -both of them said at the same time. 

The girl giggled. 

-Well, you two seem to be nice, and I wouldn't mind going with either of you. 

-So you chose me! -Zim said. 

-No! She chose ME! -Dib scowled. 

-I haven't chosen yet -the girl said-, but if this is so important to you, I'll go with the first one who brings me a bunch of roses. That'd be romantic, heh, heh. 

-What? -Zim asked, confused. 

-Roses! -Dib smiled-. No problem! I'll be right back! 

Dib took off running. Zim was taken by surprise. What was a bunch of roses?? Not knowing what to do next, he hurried after Dib. After all, Dib did know what to get, and maybe where to get it as well. 

-Ha! I'll beat ya, Zim! -Dib yelled, happily, as he was running-. I know where to get roses! 

-Just wait! I'll take the advantage, as the great invader I am!! -Zim yelled. 

Dib jumped into a large bush, trying to get rid of Zim. It actually worked, because Zim jumped in the bush as well, but Dib jumped out of them at the same moment. 

-Hey! I'm stuck among these small branches! -Zim complained. 

Dib laughed and resumed his flower mission. Zim managed to get out fast enough to see Dib turning around a tree in the distance. Zim scowled and resumed his chase, went around the same tree Dib did and searched carefully for him. He heard a noise behind some more bushes, so he snickered until reaching them and peeked through the hole his hands opened in the green surface of leaves. 

-A-Ha... -Zim whispered. 

He could see Dib, gathering red flowers from some bushes. Were those roses? Well, if Dib was making the bunch for the girl, Zim was going to do it as well. He jumped across the bush, landing noisily on his two feet and startling Dib. 

-Zim! -he gasped-. How'd you reached this place?? 

-Pathetic humanoid! You don't run THAT fast! -he said, and then he glanced at the red bushes-. So, are these your famous "roses", eh? Well, if a filthy little earth monkey that *you* can make one, then ZIM can make a better one for sure! 

-I betcha can't! -Dib scowled. 

Zim hurried to run to a rose bush and began to gather flowers, but at the second flower... 

-OUCH!! -Zim complained-. What the...? This plant has STINGS! 

Dib laughed his lungs out. 

-Poor hopeless Zim! Maybe you should be more careful! 

Zim glanced at Dib and noticed he already had a bunch of roses in his hands. Two seconds later, something moved at great speed next to Dib, stealing the branch from his hands. 

-What the...??! 

Dib looked around. Zim was being supported by his mechanical spider legs, and he had the branch of roses in his alien hands. 

-Ha! YOU should be more careful too, *Dib*! Thanks for these! 

Zim began his escape with the mechanical spider legs. Dib chased him, trying desperately to recover the flowers before the alien gave them to the girl, but the alien moved much too fast with the spider legs. 

-Zim! Wait! I won't allow it! I won't let you have the girl! 

-Ha! -Zim laughed, looking back-. Your effort is laughable, human! Nothing will stop me! *I* have the roses, not YOU!! 

Zim glanced at the branch of roses with a expression of victory in his disguised eyes... but he not only saw the red, good-smelling flowers... but something else. A couple of small, black-and-yellow striped, buzzing insects flying around the petals. His eyes widened in fear. 

-BEES!!!!!! -he screamed. 

His fright was so great that he tossed the bunch of roses backwards. It fell, almost hitting the grassy ground, but Dib caught it. Zim observed all that while the spider legs kept rushing away, so he looked to the front. 

-AAAIIEEEEEE!!! -he yelled. 

*SMACK!* 

The alien had collided against a tree, going top-speed. The spider legs folded into the Irken Backpack as Zim slowly slid down to the ground. His body peeled off the trunk of the tree, then landed face-up. A shadow covered his eyes... it was a shape... a human shape... It was Dib, smiling, looking at him, and waving the bunch of roses in one hand. 

-I have the flowers! See ya! -he smiled. 

Dib took off running, and Zim reacted a few seconds later. He leapt up and rushed to the nerdy girl... But when he arrived, Dib was handing the flowers to her. 

-No! Wait! -Zim panted, approaching. 

-Too late! -Dib exclaimed-. I reached this place first, WITH the roses! She's coming with me! 

Zim glanced at the girl. She was smiling, with the branch of roses in both hands. Zim was furious. He just scowled, turned, and began to walk out of the park. Once out of the place of his most recent defeat, he stopped, turned again, and glanced at the green block of the city. The alien raised both hands skyward. 

-I WILL DESTROY YOU, BUZZY BEES!! OH, I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!!! 

Zim turned again, and kept his angry eyes on the buildings at the other block. What was he going to do now? He stayed there, not thinking about anything else except how he was going to win this time. After several minutes, Dib's voice interrupted his thoughts. 

-Hey, Zim. How are you? Thinking about that autopsy? 

Zim turned. His scowl lessened. 

-Ah, it's you -he calmly said-. I might seem doomed right now... Okay, I admit it, it's not a good situation for me... but I shall find a way. 

-Sure, sure -Dib smiled-. I'm going home now. Want to accompany me? I might even show you the space I'll use for my "Mysterious Mysteries" Super-Finding Award trophy. 

-Bah... 

Zim accompanied Dib. His HQ was on the same route. Zim walked, his annoyed face looking at the tiles of the street. Dib, on the other side, had a raised forehead and a ear-to-ear smile. 

-I juuuust can't wait until tomorrow night -Dib said-. I would like to know what kind of alien artifact you'll try to disguise as a date. 

-I might not go, Dib. Then, you'll have to dance with that strange, nerdy... eh... "nerd" girl -Zim smiled here-. I'm so sorry I won't be there to see you suffering like that. 

-Right, I might suffer from that humiliation, okay... Oh, but just the thought of YOU being discovered is good enough to forget whatever is going to happen tomorrow. 

Zim returned his eyes to the tiles. Dib was, he hated to admit it, right. No matter how Zim saw it, every outcome seemed bad. This time he was done. 

They reached Dib's house. Dib stood at the door, while Zim kept walking. 

-Bye, Zimmy! -Dib mocked. Zim stopped and scowled over his shoulder-. I am counting down the seconds for your appearance in all the papers... front page! 

Zim approached, angry, but Dib didn't stop smiling. Zim raised a trembling finger at his Nemesis. 

-I'll find a solution, Dib. You won't get me THAT easy. 

-We'll see. 

Dib opened the door as Zim turned to resume his trip back home. 

-You! -a female voice shouted from the inside. Zim stopped. 

-What? -Dib was heard saying. 

-You ate the last burrito! I told you it was MINE! -the female voice yelled. 

Zim turned and approached the door. Dib was arguing with a shorter person with purple hair and dark clothes: Dib's sister... Gaz. 

-Aw, big deal! -Dib told his sister-. Relax, okay? If everything goes well, I might buy you a burrito factory in a week. 

-Not an excuse. I shall destroy you. 

-Not now, okay? I have a speech to prepare for "Mysterious Mysteries". Do not bother me. 

Dib went by her as she stared after him with her eyes filled with revenge. Dib was about to cross the gateway to the hall, when he suddenly heard... 

-Say, Gaz... Want to be my human dance couple for tomorrow's dance? 

Dib froze. His heart jumped in panic. 

-Wwwwwhhhhhaaaaaaaattttttt????????? -he yelled as he turned his head to the door. Zim was there, talking to Gaz. 

-Uh? -Gaz said. 

-You know! -Zim said-. There's a dance tomorrow to celebrate "valenines" day, yadda-yadda, I need a couple, yadda-yadda, I asked you, yadda-yadda-yadda, so what do you say? 

-NO! -Dib shouted as he approached running, placing himself between Zim and Gaz-. She is NOT going with YOU!! 

-Whoa, wait a second! *I* asked her first! You can't date her! 

-I can't date my OWN SISTER! 

-Too bad -Zim laughed-, so I guess she might go with *me* instead. 

-No, she won't! 

-And *why* not, Dib? -Gaz demanded darkly. 

-Huh?! -Dib asked, speechless, looking at her. She was scowling. 

-Maybe I *do* want to go to a Valentine's dance -she said in low voice. 

-You hate Valentines Day! -Dib shouted-. You never liked it! 

-I have *never* been invited -she replied-. I have *never* received any Valentines Card either. 

-Gaz, HE is an ALIEN!! -Dib screamed. Zim rolled eyes and shook his head-. He is not HUMAN! 

-Gee... you do whatever you can to annoy me, don't you? -Gaz folded arms-. Maybe I'll choose to ignore you. 

There was a loooong moment of silence. Dib glanced at both his sister and his alien Nemesis, not believing what was happening. Finally, he raised hands in despair at his sister. 

-Fine! You know what? Date him! Go with the alien! It'll be even better! That way, he's forced to go and *I* will show the truth about him! 

Dib rushed to his room, while the girl and the alien watched him. A loud *slam* was heard, making it understood that Dib had closed his room's door. Gaz then turned to Zim. 

-You hate "valenines"? -Zim asked. 

-Ergh... It's not that I *hate* it -Gaz said- ... I just... never felt good about this season. I'm always being called "geek" and "freak" and all those things because I'm always alone at Valentines. 

She looked at Zim, from feet to face, scowling. 

-Oh, Lord, please tell me you won't wear that sick outfit tomorrow -she said. 

-This? -Zim pointed at his clothes-. No, no. I was being forced to wear these. Eh, so... You do want to go to the dance with me, right? *Tell me*! 

-Ohhh... Fine... -she scowled-. But ONLY because I'm being *forced* to do it. If it was up to me, I would prefer to stay at home, playing games or something. Valentines suck. 

Zim raised an eyebrow at that comment. 

-So, I guess I'll wait for you to pick me up, okay? -Gaz said, emotionlessly-. Come at five. The sooner we go to the dance, the sooner I'll be back home. 

-Sure. Fine. Whatever -Zim replied. 

Gaz closed the door. Zim stayed there a couple seconds, and then began the walk back home. He stopped after a few feet, looking over his shoulder at the closed door of his Nemesis' house. 

-Is she being FORCED? -Zim said. He scowled, and released it soon-. Maybe I was mistaken about this dippy, filthy, darned human race... Some of they happen to act NORMAL -he shook his head with a minute amount of wonder-. What an unusual discovery. 

Without saying another word, the disguised alien resumed his trek back to his HQ. He had just found a human couple, and it happened to be his Nemesis' own sister. One less problem, Zim thought. 

But, was it? He still needed to learn more about Valentines... and the clock was against him. His only hope was that everything would be over in less than twenty-four hours. 

-o-


	3. A reason to be

  


**   
- Chapter 3 -   
A reason to be   
**

The night was dark and surrounding. Many houses kept some lights on, to keep the darkness at bay. But one house in particular had a bizarre glow surrounding it. The whole house was bizarre, to be honest, as it was the headquarters of a non-human. 

The living room of that strange house was very quiet, but it was not the same several feet below, within the strange structures of the hidden Irken base. The walls, full of bright purple lights and all sorts of strange technology, were witnesses to the actions the alien and his robot slave were practicing. 

-Why must humans be so oddly... *odd*?? -the alien said. 

Zim was watching the screen of one of his many computer screens. It was displaying information related to Valentines Day. He needed to learn it all, because he had just gotten a date. Yes, the alien had a *date*, but not because he wanted to spend time with a female 'hyumen'. He NEEDED a date in order to not look "weird". But he would have never guessed his date would be his nemesis' own sister... Gaz, the Dib-human's sibling. 

-Oh look, candy! -the small robot next to Zim pointed at the screen (it was showing heart-shaped chocolates). 

-Yes, it seems that humans like to corrupt their digestive tracks by means of... sugar-based food, or something. 

Zim rubbed his chin with a green hand, thinking nervously. 

-I will *never* learn enough to look normal. This is too much info... Unless... 

Zim turned his head slowly, until his huge, half-closed eyes met Gir, his tiny robot slave. It was glancing at the screen with a wide smile on its metallic head. 

-GIR! -Zim yelled. Gir turned at him, smiling-. Maybe you can be my salvation this time!- Zim glanced at the screen with ambitious eyes-. I am going to attach your electronic brain to the computer. By doing this, I'm gonna TRANSFER all the information about this stupid "valenines" thingy... *thing*... to you. Therefore, you will be able to help me by giving me advice during that stupid "valenines" dance, anytime I need it. Get it, Gir? 

Zim turned to hear Gir's reply... but he saw his "loyal" robot slave sitting on the floor and playing with a rubber moose and a rubber piggy, paying no attention whatsoever to its master. 

-GIIIRRR!! -Zim screamed, annoyed. 

Gir released the rubber toys and turned to Zim in a small jump, its eyes now two red slits. Gir's almost non-existent SIR programming had kicked in. 

-Yes, my master! -the small robot said. 

-Focus, Gir! -its master demanded-. I'm going to download all the info available about "valenines" into your brain, so you can help me during the dance! 

-Oooohhh!! -Gir amazed, its eyes now a wide, innocent cyan-. Can I go to the dance?? 

-Yes, Gir... -Zim said wearily. 

-Can I bring a date of my own, pretty-pretty please? 

Zim raised an eyebrow at the petition of his little helper. 

-Yeah, fine, whatever, just HELP ME! -he finally said, as his robot emitted a low-pitched "Yaaaaaaay!" of happiness-. Okay, now that you are happy, PLEASE help me here, Gir. I'm going to attach your brain to the computer. 

The small bot agreed. 

At that exact moment, an argument was taking place in Dib's living room. Gaz was sitting on the couch, trying to watch TV. The word "trying" was because of Dib, her older brother, who kept pacing back and forth, trying to convince his sister to reject Zim. 

-He's an ALIEN! You can't date an alien! -he said, disgusted. 

-Dib, if you don't shut your mouth, you'll have to get new teeth soon -Gaz mumbled, scowling and never taking her eyes off the screen. 

-But he's a MENACE to every living thing! Gaz, this is a huge mistake! 

-Speaking of huge mistakes -Gaz glanced at her brother-, you'll make a big one if you say one more word. Don't push your luck. 

She returned her attention to the TV. Dib jumped in front of it. Gaz scowled. 

-I'm warning you, Gaz! He might even HURT you! 

-Not as much as *I* will hurt *you* -she said in a dangerous tone-. Move away, or I'll make sure you get a good grave. 

Dib wasn't that stupid. He did move aside, but he didn't stop yakking. 

-Maybe he's planning to do tests on you! -he said. Gaz chose to ignore that-. Maybe he wants to generate CLONES with you!! 

-Cool, more hands to help me pound you to no end -Gaz said emotionlessly. 

Dib approached his sister. 

-Can't you see it?? You might be in danger! You *know* Zim is an alien! You saw him without the disguise! You even walked within the dark halls of his space base... thing!! 

Gaz slowly turned to Dib. She glanced at him, motionless, for a few seconds... then replied with a numb: 

-So? 

Dib clutched his head with both hands. 

-I can not believe this!! Why, Gaz? Why do you want to keep annoying me this way?! If you know he's an alien... if you know he WANTS to conquer the planet... WHY do you want to go to the dance with... with... *HIM*???! 

Gaz kept her frown directed at her paranoid brother. After several seconds, she shrugged. 

-I don't know -she said-. Maybe I want to annoy you. 

-Oh, no... no, no, no... YOU, little girl, are making a HUGE mistake. I'll go to my room, now, but mark my words: HE'S NO GOOD! 

Dib dashed to his room, feeling Gaz watching him. After he was out of sight, Gaz looked back at the TV. But she wasn't paying attention to the bright, plain screen in front of her... but something else. Only after a complete minute of intense thoughts, she mumbled to herself the words she didn't dare say in public. 

-Or maybe -she whispered-, because he actually *asked* me out... Not like anybody else. 

Gaz could be cold and threaten-y around everybody, and she also had a strong attitude... but not even that could stop that small tear leaving her right eye and rolling down her cheek. 

The moon, high in the dark, clear sky of the night, would have never guessed the unusual situations under the roofs of the two houses. In one, a girl with guts had become weak for a couple seconds. In the other house, a being not of this world was assembling his mechanical partner, in order to learn the hundreds of small details about this strange human festivity. 

-o-

The next morning the Earth was greeted with a bright, yellow sun; suggesting a nice Saturday. There was no skool, so Zim was glad he wouldn't have to see his Nemesis until five o'clock, when he was supposed to go to his house to pick his human date. This skool-less factor was a relief for the alien, because he had more time to test Gir's new knowledge; and also a relief for Dib, because he had more time for Plan "Make Gaz Understand". 

-GIR!!! -was the first word of the alien in the morning. He heard a strange "crack"ing sound, a small rumble, and then he saw his loyal robot slave approaching and dragging a piece of broken computer, connected to it by a thick wire coming from its head. 

-Gir, reporting for duty! -the small, red-eyed bot saluted. 

-GIR! The next time, CHECK IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING ATTACHED TO YOU!! 

-Oh, you mean the wire? -the little robot smiled, again with cyan eyes. 

-You was supposed to be learning all about this *filthy* humanoid party. 

-Party! Yaaayy!! 

-Silence!! -and Gir paused-. I'm hoping your knowledge about all of this has improved, so I'll ask you a few questions. 

-Kay! 

-Very well... Let's see... Ah, I know... Gir, tell me... What *is* "valenines"? 

-First, it's misspelled! It's "Valentines", and is a human celebration where Love and Affection are the main factors. Humans use it to give presents to show affection toward other humans, by means of sweets, cards, or other presents. 

-Excellent! -Zim smiled-. Now, I want to ask you... What am I supposed to *do* during this... lame dance thingy? 

-Valentines Day Dance!! -the small robot proclaimed with a wide smile-. During this event, a human and his/her human date/mate will spend a joyful time together. There will be food, drink, and music for the event. A while after the party starts, the couples must DANCE along the room at the rhythm of the music (usually, slow love songs), in order to show affection to one another -Gir stopped here-. Pretty, eh? 

But Zim wasn't paying attention. His eyes widened in horror upon hearing the word "Dance". 

-D... D... -he gulped- ... "Dance"... I thought it was just a NAME! 

Zim began to sweat. He felt kind of a chill running down his spine. 

-I can not dance! -he exclaimed-. Irken invaders do not do such dippy actions! 

-Dance is fun! -Gir cheerfully said. 

-No, it's NOT! I will be discovered when they realize I CAN NOT DANCE!! 

-You do dance. 

-Maybe I can move the muscles of my legs to the rhythm of SOME tunes, but I've never danced with a DATE! Least of all, a *HUMAN* date!! 

-Ooooh... Is that bad? 

-Bad?! BAD?! GIR! This is a catastrophe!!! That slimy earth monkey named *Dib* will discover me to the entire skool! -he turned his freaked eyes to Gir-. GIR! I *need* to learn to dance! Right now! I only have a few hours until the dance starts! 

-Yes, sir! I obey! -the small robot saluted, showing red eyes. 

-o-

-He's an alien! 

-Shut up... 

-He's not human! 

-Be quiet... 

-He's a monster!! 

-Let me play... 

-He might...!! *OOF*!! 

Dib fell off the couch, holding his stomach with both hands. His eyes pointed to the other person on the soft surface of the furniture. The girl was glaring at him with burning eyes. 

-Why...? -he asked weakly. 

-You just made me lose this game -she whispered, waving her "Game Slave" pocket system at him-. I had enough of your stupid speeches of Zim this, Zim that, Zim, Zim, Zim... 

-But he...! 

Gaz jumped off the couch and approached her brother. He was still embracing his damaged belly. 

-I know he's an alien, okay? -she whispered-. I know what I am dealing with. It's *my* problem... not yours. Leave me alone. 

-I just... 

Gaz growled at Dib's protest. She grabbed him by the neck of his shirt and pulled him up, getting face-to-face with him. 

-Let me put this straight, Dib -she whispered in anger-. I'm going to my room, now. If I hear just ONE more word from you about my date, *I* will make sure you won't have to worry about teenage problems -here she pushed him closer-, because you won't REACH that age. 

Dib gulped. Gaz took it as a "yes", so she released him. 

Gaz walked to her room and slammed the door after her. The young girl jumped onto her bed and lay face-up, staring at the ceiling, resting on the soft surface of the mattress. 

-Valentines Day... -she mumbled, scowling- ... sucks dirt. 

She kept glaring at the ceiling, thinking. Her face turned sad a couple times, but the aggressive look returned soon. 

-Stupid morons... -she whispered- ... Stupid jerks... Stupid, STUPID Valentines Day. 

A thought got jammed in her mind... a memory from her very young life. A strange white mist surrounded her thoughts as the memory became stronger. She saw the scene form in her brain... it was... it was the living room of the house... but something was different... Everything seemed to be... bigger. 

The TV was on. A woman was talking to the camera. 

-Have a happy Valentines Day! -the woman greeted-. I'm your local TV News Reporter, Nancy Harris. Welcome to "News-At-Eight". It's a clear night and we go right to the main news... 

-Va... le... nine... -a soft voice said. 

-... even on this happy day, there is bad news. Sorry for being so direct, but that's how the World is. We had reports of a crime on Gunter Street this afternoon... 

The sight was turned from the TV, and pointed down... A couple of small, naked feet were in sight, almost hidden under the wooden tray of the high chair. A shadow covered the small feet and the high chair. The viewpoint went up and a very tall human in a large, white lab coat was spotted. Two small arms raised. 

-Da... Dad... -the soft voice said. 

-Oh, here you are, honey! -the man in the lab coat said quickly-. You shouldn't see that, you are too young. I'll put on something more appropriate for a baby like you. 

The little arms swung a little, asking the tall human to hug her, or maybe even scoop her little body up and embrace it with a parent's love... but the man in the lab coat was busy searching for the remote control. 

-Dad... Da-addy... -the voice implored. 

-No worries, sweetheart. I've found the control, so I'll change it to... 

Something beeped on the left sleeve of the lab coat. The tall man pushed a small thing on it and began to talk to himself. 

-What is it, Simmons? -he paused-. Is that true?! Oh, no! I must fix that this minute!! 

The tall human glanced at the small person in the high chair with a hurried look. 

-I have to go, honey! Daddy must work for the good of the planet! You change it, I'm sure you can push the buttons! Bye! 

Without even kissing his own daughter, the man hurried to put the remote control on the small tray of the high chair. He left the room in a hurry, not noticing the waving, despaired, little arms and the soft voice, which sounded sad when saying: 

-Daddy...! Da-aad! 

-... as a result of this horrible shooting, several persons were injured, and I am sad to say some have even died. 

The reporter was still talking. The sight focused on the screen, which was showing the scenes of a shooting between policemen and thieves. The soft voice emitted a loud gasp... the scenes were indeed too strong for such a young audience. The viewpoint lowered and the remote was in sight. The two small hands tried desperately turn the TV off... but their coordination was very bad, and the remote ended up on the floor with a loud impact that made the batteries fly away. 

-... according to the police, the thief may have shot twice: first impacting on the victim's left arm, which ended in a big loss of blood; and second in the victim's head... 

The voice of the reporter was louder. The sight raised one more time, glancing at the screen. There was a horrible image of murder. The sight stared at it for a few seconds, but then nothing else was shown... except the many tears, obstructing the vision. 

Gaz opened her eyes. She was still glancing at the ceiling of her room, laying on her own bed. She had drowned herself in a past memory, and it was not amusing. She jumped off the bed, and walked to her wardrobe. Inside, she searched for something. After shoving through all her clothes and possessions, she found what she was looking for... at the back of the wardrobe... a book. 

She walked out, looking at the cover of the book. It was a yearbook. Almost with fear, her hands opened the book. There were photos of a younger Gaz, already wearing black. After several pages, she found what she was looking for... A page with the title "Valentines Day Dance". 

Gaz's eyes opened with caution. She glanced at each photo, carefully. She saw her schoolmates, smiling and being accompanied by another friend... a dance couple. 

Her mind was lost again... in a new thought. 

-Here we are, Gaz. 

Gaz turned and saw his brother, Dib, standing next to her at the cafeteria's door. 

-Is *this* the party? -she mumbled. 

-Yes, of course it is! -his brother replied-. I'll try to pretend I have a date, or they'll call me "freak", and things like that. 

-Whee, that'd be a riot... Enjoy your life... -she said sarcastically. 

Dib ran to the crowd of young students and Gaz was now alone. Was that a party? she thought. All the kids seemed to be having a good time... and also a dance partner. Not really knowing what to do, Gaz began to walk, heading to the food tables and wondering if there was any pizza on the menu. 

She reached the table, but before she could even look at the many dishes on it, a female voice was heard behind her. 

-Ewww! What happened to your clothes? 

Gaz turned. There was a blonde girl, maybe a year older that her, standing behind her. 

-What? -Gaz asked. 

-Your clothes! Well, if THAT can be called *clothes* -the girl chuckled. 

-Ergh... Do I even know you? -Gaz growled. She didn't like that blondie. 

-I think I do know you... Eh... You're the girl always at that freako Dib's side, aren't you? 

-I'm his sister. 

-Ah, had to guess. You also look freaky. 

The blonde girl giggled evilly. Gaz preferred to ignore that and search for pizza, or something tasty to eat. Unfortunately, the blonde girl stayed at her side. 

-I'm in Dib's class, by the way. 

-Poor hopeless girl... -Gaz whispered. 

-Is this your first Valentines Day Dance? 

-Yes. 

-Yes, I had to guess that too. Mine was last year, and you must be one year back, right? 

-Yes. 

-And where's your date? -the blonde girl said as she looked everywhere. 

-What? -Gaz turned at her. 

-Your dance date, of course! Heh, I'd curse myself if I had came to a Valentines Day Dance party WITHOUT a dance partner! 

-Really? Why? -Gaz asked, getting a little nervous. 

-Because those who come alone are losers! Freaks! Weirdos! That's a forever mark! Look at your brother! 

Gaz turned and saw Dib, talking to other kid. 

-Oh, yes, she's pretty. Too bad she's in the bathroom right now, so I can not introduce her to you... -Dib was heard saying. 

-That hopeless kid -the blonde girl said-. He thinks he can fool us. We all know he has no date. He's a loser... a freak... a *weirdo*. 

-That's stupid... I don't think it can be THAT bad to be all you say. 

-You *think* so?? Listen, girl... This is a FOREVER mark, understand? If you are a loser in a Valentines Dance Party, then you'll be a loser *FOREVER*. 

Gaz, suddenly, gulped. The blonde girl noticed this. 

-You gulped? -she asked, smiling evilly-. Why? 

-None of your business -Gaz said, then she returned to her search for food. 

-Where's your dance partner? -the blonde girl smiled. 

Gaz didn't answer, but began to sweat. 

-You are *so* NOT telling me you came... alone. Right? 

Gaz was sweating more. Her hands were trembling in both panic and fury, but still tried to grab a piece of pizza. 

-Why are you so quiet, all of a sudden? -the blonde girl whispered with a sly smile-. Maybe because you are... a lose... 

*SPLAT!* 

There was silence. The blonde girl stepped back, losing balance and falling on her tush. The kids around turned to see her. She had a slice of pizza on her face, sliding down and staining her dress with grease. Gaz had turned, showing teeth and breathing with difficulty. 

-I'm sick of you -she said-. I didn't answer, because I brought NO ONE with me! Are you happy?! 

Nobody replied. Gaz turned to search for more pizza. 

-Good -she whispered. 

She was about to grab another slice... when somebody said something to her back. 

-... freak... 

Gaz froze. 

-Freak... 

She turned her head, not scowling. The blonde girl had stood up, and she was pointing at her. 

-You are a freak -she said-. You brought no one. 

Gaz turned her entire body. She was not scowling. She was scared. 

-You -the blonde girl said- are a... LOSER! 

-She's a LOSER! -another kid said from the back. 

-A LOSER! -a third kid yelled. 

-LOSER!! 

-SHE'S A LOSER!! 

-... A COMPLETE LOSER!!! 

One by one, all the kids in the cafeteria began to shout the darned "L" word, stronger each time. Gaz stepped back, holding the border of the table with strongly closed fists. The small semi-circle of kids in front of her was approaching, screaming "LOSER" with every step. Gaz's eyes got wet. Some tears appeared. The lower lip of her dropped jaw began to tremble. She felt weak... vulnerable... Her legs also trembled, and she had to kneel. The crowd kept approaching. Gaz couldn't resist it. She lowered her head and held it with both hands. 

-STOP IT!! -she screamed-. STOP IT!! I AM NOT A LOSER!! I AM NOT!! 

*BAM!* 

The yearbook had collided against the door of the room, and it fell to the floor, observed by a girl breathing hard. 

Gaz had to sit down on the floor for ten minutes to relax. Finally, when her breathing was at a safe level, she stood and went to pick her yearbook up. She looked at the cover with new resolve. 

-You're not gonna beat me... -she mumbled-. No you won't, Valentines Day... Not this time... Not this year. I have a date... Yes, I do... and I will prove I am NOT the loser everybody think I am. 

In a quick movement, she threw the yearbook back to the depths of her wardrobe. With the accuracy from a thousand or more virtual battles, it landed in the same place she found it. 

Not only did the Irken invader have reasons to be at the party with a date, but she herself had a mission to complete during the festivity. Zim was going to prove he was "human" enough... 

... While Gaz was going to show she was not the loser they thought. 

-o-


	4. The odd couple

  
**   
- Chapter 4 -   
The odd couple   
**

  
The rest of that morning was normal enough for Gaz. Dib kept hanging around her, silent, but still annoying. He kept staring at her while she tried to focus her entire being on the TV. Obviously, Dib was trying hard to keep his mouth shut.   
  
Gaz didn't dare think about her past. Those were bad memories. She was hoping THIS Valentines would be different. So what if Zim was a stupid alien? He had asked her out. This was Gaz's chance.   
  
And speaking of Zim... The poor alien spent the whole morning trying to dance with a woman (a mechanical one) in his underground base. He was being tested by Gir, believe it or not, since the small robot knew everything about the "do's and don'ts" of Valentine's Day.   
  
Zim was having trouble to keep track of his mechanical partner's steps. It was as tall as he was, but faceless. It only had a round body and thin appendages. Enough so that he could practice. However, Zim suddenly got angry and pushed it away.   
  
-Enough for Zim! -the alien yelled.   
  
Gir, who was waving its fingers to the music's rhythm, suddenly widened its cyan eyes.   
  
-Whassup?   
  
-This is useless! -Zim complained-. I can not understand this intense waste of muscular power! I can not *believe* humans *like* to do this for entertainment!   
  
Zim reached for the audio controls of the computer and turned the music off.   
  
-Ohh, I liked that one... -Gir whimpered.   
  
The alien didn't seem to hear that complaint. Instead, he paced in circles; arms folded behind his back, thinking about what was going to happen in matter of hours. How was he going to pretend be a normal human if he couldn't dance??   
  
-There must be a way -he said-. Yes... there MUST be a way for those drooling earthstinks to *think* I can dance...   
  
-Dance is fun! -the mechanical voice of his little robot helper suddenly exclaimed.   
  
-Yeah? Prove it! -Zim scowled, stopping.   
  
Gir smiled at the order of its master. It jumped to the audio controls and turned them on. The beat of a country song suddenly blared from the loudspeakers. Zim was caught by surprise when Gir suddenly grabbed his arm and forced him to dance.   
  
-No! Wait!! -the alien complained-. Stop it, right now!!!   
  
-Dance!! -the tiny helper yelled, happy.   
  
Zim had no choice. Gir was manipulating his steps and controlling its master. The song ended with a fast spin, prompting Gir to RELEASE Zim. The Irken spun away at top speed.   
  
-Ta-Daa!! -Gir smiled, stopping.   
  
*SMACK!*   
  
Gir glanced at the opposite wall. Zim was smashed against it. The small bot walked to him, humming the notes of the previous song, and stopped at his side.   
  
-See? Dance is fun!   
  
Zim slowly slid down the wall until his damaged body was laying on the floor. He raised a trembling finger.   
  
-Do that again -he whispered painfully-, and I'll be force to recycle you...   
  
-Again? -the small robot startled-. Yaaayyy!!!   
  
Zim heard his "loyal" slave walking to the other side of the room. The music was suddenly playing again and Zim's eyes widen in horror. But he didn't have time to react. One second later, Gir was grabbing his hand once more.   
  
-Nooooooooo!! -the poor, hopeless alien screamed.   


  
-o-

  
  
-Good afternoon! This is Jenny "Jam" Johnson, transmitting LIVE from the Heavy-Rock Stars' Valentine's Party! It's four-thirty, and the rock stars are approaching this special event of...   
  
-You have to play it so LOUD?   
  
Gaz turned her attention from the TV screen so she could focus on her brother.   
  
-Yes, I do -she replied.   
  
Dib frowned at her, then looked down at the buttons of his white dress shirt. Gaz glanced at him for a few more seconds, before returning her attention to the TV.   
  
-Aren't you going to wear some kinda dress, or anything like that? -Dib asked.   
  
-Why would I? -his sister murmured.   
  
Dib finished with the buttons and approached the sofa, working on his tie.   
  
-You should wear something else, you know? -he suggested while jumping on the sofa-. Everybody will be dressing well, and your current outfit is... kind of...   
  
He was about to continue, but Gaz chose that moment to turn, scowling darkly. Dib kept his mouth shut (and his wide eyes focused Gaz) until she returned her attention to the TV.   
  
-I like my daily clothes -she simply stated.   
  
-You'll be the only one dressed funny at the party (except, and I have no doubts about it, for Zim).   
  
Gaz didn't turn, but her mind began to work. If she was going to beat Valentines Day, she should do it right. Although she didn't like the idea of dressing as a dorky cool girl, it was a risk she had to take.   
  
She slid down the sofa.   
  
-I'll go change my clothes -were her only words while she disappeared into the hallway.   
  
Dib waited a couple seconds to make sure she was not returning, then started to talk to himself.   
  
-Good... Time to test this device...   
  
Dib glanced at the remote control at the opposite end of the sofa. With a sly statement in his face, the boy pressed the knot of his tie with a finger. The bow of the tie opened and a telescoping needle appeared. Its tip glimmered with a sticky substance. The needle shot forward and hit the remote, firmly affixing itself to the remote. Next, Dib pressed the knot for a second time; the needle returned at top speed, bringing the remote control with it. Dib snatched the control free and the tie returned to its normal position, hiding any evidence of technology behind it.   
  
-Perfect! -Dib whispered-. Now you're doomed, Zim! I'll use this tie to remove your stupid wig right off that green head of yours! Then, when everybody sees your alien antennae, they'll know I was right all along! They'll know you are not human!!   
  
He laughed triumphantly, but his breathing problem quickly turned it into a hacking cough.   
  
The doorbell rang.   
  
-There he is! -Dib said-. I must act normal...   
  
He walked to the front door. The boy put a hand on the doorknob.   
  
-Hello, you horrible space monster! -Dib shouted as he opened the door.   
  
-Oh, heh, heh, that's one of the sweetest things anybody's ever said to me!   
  
Dib gasped. It was not Zim, but his date... the brace girl. She was actually smiling at Dib's comment.   
  
-Oh, no, no... I didn't mean you... I... I thought it was somebody else. But, eh, come in, come in...   
  
A beet-red Dib moved aside to allow her entrance. She crossed the threshold, giggling. She was wearing a long, white dress, although she still had those pigtails and the notorious braces. She stopped and turned at him, raising her skirt a little.   
  
-Well, what do you think? -she snorted.   
  
-Well, I... -Dib trailed off, confused, as he closed the door.   
  
The door was suddenly opened by a kick, just as Dib was about to close it. The child paranormalist suddenly found himself on the floor. The nerdy girl glanced at Dib on the floor, and then at the person at the door, who had raised both fists (and also closed eyes) to the air triumphantly.   
  
-Attention, everybody! Zim has arrived! -the alien said. Nobody replied, he lowered both arms and asked calmly-. What?   
  
Dib leapt to his feet, sweeping the dirt off his white shirt and scowling at Zim.   
  
-Zim... you're here.   
  
Dib and Zim, as usual, scowled at each other. The human boy scanned the outfit of his Nemesis. The usual black wig, the fake eyes... but his clothes were certainly different; as if Zim had been studying the party wardrobes VERY carefully. Zim was wearing some sort of black tuxedo with a white shirt under it. It greatly contrasted with that strange Irken backpack he also wore. Dib noticed he had a bunch of roses in hand (and he also noticed none of the roses had thorns). Zim also had a black bow tie and... platform boots with little blinking lights??   
  
-Hey... nice boots -Dib slowly said, smiling slyly when realizing those were NOT normal boots.   
  
-Do not focus on them -the alien warned.   
  
-Oh, come on! What kind of alien weapons *are* those? -Dib almost yelled.   
  
-These are NOT weapons! I just have a height problem I want to disguise! -the alien defended.   
  
-How true, heh, heh -the nerdy girl said-. I wouldn't like to be called geek, or shorty.   
  
-I'm ready -Gaz's voice announced.   
  
The two kids and the alien turned to the hallway; there was Gaz, but she was not wearing her regular wardrobe. Instead, she had her purple hair released and mostly plain, except for a little part by her fringe, falling onto her forehead. The dress she wore was black, and its skirt almost reached the floor, revealing black, high-heeled shoes. The skull-shaped pendant she always had with her was not spotted on her body, hanging from the string; it was now at one side of her hair, working as hair-clasp. Dib was speechless; he wasn't used to seeing his little sister like that.   
  
Zim didn't really seem to notice Gaz's new look. He just made his way to her, held out the upside-down flowers, and offered them to his date.   
  
-Greetings, *my* human date. May I offer this sample of earthling dusty nature in an attempt of showing NORMAL human affection?   
  
Dib giggled at that. Gaz just rolled her semi-closed eyes.   
  
-Fine... Let's get this part over with -she took the branch-. Let's go to that party, for once and for all.   
  
Zim suddenly bowed, offering his arm. Gaz scowled, not at Zim, but at Dib. He was chuckling a bit louder at Zim's attitude. Gaz took Zim's arm and he guided her outside.   
  
-How funny! -Dib commented to his own date-. That alien guy will be a real laugh tonight, heh, heh...   
  
A bunch of roses (*Gaz's* bunch of roses) hit him right on the forehead. Dib stopped laughing.   
  
-Fine, fine... Gaz, you just can't take a joke.   
  
-No, I can't -the voice of his sister was heard saying.   
  
The nerdy girl smiled and blinked at Dib. He finally understood and also offered his arm, like Zim did to Gaz. The Brace-Girl hurried to grab it. Both walked out of the house, heading to skool.   
  
As the four peoples reached the corner of the block, a small figure appeared at the opposite corner, staring at their backs. A small green pup was spying on them all.   
  
-Master needs advice! -the voice of Gir squeaked from inside the disguise. It looked at something in its hands-. Let's go to the dance, couple!   
  
Without wasting another second, the disguised robot ran after its master, carrying with it it's own date for the dance: a rather cute, rather pink, rather squeaky rubber piggy.   


  
-o-

  
  
The whole track to the skool was very quiet. The Brace-Girl kept giggling at the fact she had been asked out; Gaz didn't comment anything; and Zim and Dib kept sending silent, threatening death glares to each other. They finally arrived. Several paper hearts and lights decorated it. A few kids were outside, but Zim guessed the rest of the stinkbeasts were inside.   
  
-Look! Look, everybody! I have a date, heh, heh, heh!   
  
The nerdy girl shouted those words as soon as the first kid was close enough to hear. Dib got red, while Gaz and Zim found it amusing.   
  
They made their way to the cafeteria. As soon as they entered, Zim stopped and stepped back, separating from Gaz. The three glanced at the alien. His disguised eyes were wide open, and his breath was short. He had given the place a general look: tons of pink paper hearts hanging from anywhere and everywhere, lots of stinking human worm-babies chatting, smiling, and wearing strange outfits (aside for the regular ones), and even some female humans who had done strange thing to their hair, forming strange shapes with it.   
  
-Is *this* the party? -the alien gasped.   
  
-Yes, of course it is! -his Nemesis replied with a sly smile-. Go and pretend you have a date, or they'll call you *weird*.   
  
Gaz raised her eyebrows. She was sure she had heard something like that in the past... or hadn't she?   
  
Zim calmed down and scowled at his enemy.   
  
-Of course this is the party -he said-, don't think I didn't know that!   
  
-I'll go hang around the others -Dib whispered-, but I'll keep an eye on you, Zimmy.   
  
-Yeah, get a life, human pest -the alien scowled.   
  
Zim and Gaz observed Dib and his date walking away.   
  
-Well... Look WHO's here tonight... -a female voice hissed.   
  
Zim and Gaz turned. Miss Bitters was next to them, wearing a black widow dress and observing the duo through her glasses. Her hands were clasped and making her long, scary fingers collide against each other.   
  
-Happy... eh... -Zim doubted-... Happy "valenines", eh, I meant "Valentines", Miss Bitters.   
  
-Save it -she replied-. I'm merely awaiting the students' collective emotional DOOM when they make pitiful fools out of themselves trying to dance.   
  
Without another word, Miss Bitters "vanished" to another place. Zim turned and saw Gaz's face. It was filled with... fear?   
  
-Dance? -she said-. Do we have to... *dance*?   
  
-It *is* part of the stupid festivity... isn't it? -the alien replied.   
  
Neither of them said another word. Both just kept scowling at each other. No words were needed. Zim didn't want to dance, and Gaz didn't want to either... and yet, they both knew they'd have to, if they wanted to look "normal".   
  
Zim glanced through the main door out of the corner of his eye. He saw Gir in its pup disguise, waving at him from inside a bush. Zim quickly glanced at Gaz.   
  
-I'll be right back -he said quickly.   
  
-Kay... Don't take long... You could miss the... *dance*... -Gaz said numbly.   
  
Zim hurried outside. Gaz turned and headed to the first table with food in sight. Outside, Zim reached Gir's bush; glanced around to make sure nobody was looking, and proceeded to talk to his fellow partner.   
  
-Gir! How good that you're here! I...!   
  
-Look, I brought my date! -the pup squealed, pushing the rubber nose of the piggy into his master's face.   
  
Zim pushed the piggy down.   
  
-This is SERIOUS, Gir! My human date is much too quiet, and she doesn't seem to want to dance! Is that good?   
  
Gir's eyes glowed red.   
  
-Sir! No, sir! According to recorded data, the success of a Valentines Day Dance is based on keeping the date happy, sir! If the dance couple doesn't want to dance, then the dance couple is NOT happy, and the Valentines Day Dance is going to be complete CHAOS! -Gir's eyes faded to cyan-. Neat, huh?   
  
-No! It is NOT NEAT! -the alien scared-. Our mission is in jeopardy unless I find a way to make my human date happy!   
  
Meanwhile, inside, Gaz had spotted some pizza on a table. She was munching and enjoying the first slice of the cheese-made element, when the voice of her nightmares was heard behind her.   
  
-Ohh... I didn't know YOU where coming!   
  
Gaz gulped down the bit of chewed pizza in her mouth. Slowly, so very slowly, she turned to face her own Nemesis. Gaz was a little scared, but her scowl didn't show that.   
  
-Well, at least that's a better outfit -the voice repeated. Gaz glanced at her, from head to foot.   
  
It was the blonde "cool" girl from Dib's class. The same girl who built on Gaz's already huge phobia of Valentines to the point of never stepping into a Valentines Dance Party again.   
  
The blonde girl chuckled.   
  
-So, how are you? Still playing with that noisy game you always carry with you?   
  
Gaz's arm was about to launch the slice of pizza at her... but her wish to defeat the evil Valentine forces made her stop. Instead, she sighed deeply and said:   
  
-Yes... Yes, I'm back. So what?   
  
The blonde girl just looked at her, smiling.   
  
-Well, I already told ya that was a better wardrobe... But you still are a loser. You have been since the last party... and you'll always be.   
  
Instead of wanting to toss that slice of pizza, Gaz was wondering if she could lift the entire table and squish the girl with it. Again, her sheer revenge-fueled willpower was cooled by the wish to beat Valentines.   
  
-Right... I'm a... loser -Gaz said... and turned away-. Now, leave me alone.   
  
Gaz tried to resume eating her pizza, but...   
  
-And where's your date? That is, if you brought someone.   
  
The annoying blondie was getting on Gaz's nerves. At any other time, she would have Doomed her immediately... but Gaz had a trump card this time... she had Zim.   
  
Gaz turned and faced the blondie.   
  
-My date? Yes, he's outside.   
  
The blonde girl stopped smiling.   
  
-Really? -she wondered in a flat, skeptical tone-. Who is it, anyway?   
  
-You should know him... His name is Zim.   
  
-Who?   
  
-Ergh... Zim... *ZIM*... The green guy.   
  
The smile returned to the blondie's face... along with a disgusting chuckle.   
  
-Zim?! No kidding!   
  
-I'm not kidding -Gaz said, warning her.   
  
-YOU are the most *pathetic* loser ever! -the blondie laughed-. You and the green freako will be Miss and Mister Clown-o after the dance. If you *dare* dance, of course.   
  
-What makes you think I won't dance? -Gaz whispered in a very dangerous tone-. Zim and I might actually be the best ones at the dance, you know?   
  
-You have no chance -the cool girl said-. *My* date is Richard. If you don't know him, let me tell you that he's the best dancer in the whole skool -she poked Gaz's chest there, after saying each word-. You... have... no... chance.   
  
The cool girl left laughing, leaving Gaz with tons of fury in her. Zim stuck his head through the main door. No one in sight. He stepped in, bringing Gir and the rubber piggy in as well.   
  
-Zim!   
  
Zim gasped, hurrying to hide Gir and its inanimate couple under the first table in sight. He succeeded two seconds before Gaz approached.   
  
-Zim! -she yelled as she stopped next to him-. I want to dance.-   
  
Zim was a little confused at Gaz's sudden attitude change.   
  
-Eh? But I thought...   
  
-You thought wrong -Gaz interrupted, clearly annoyed-. There's a blonde girl and her date who are trying to beat us at dancing. If they beat us, we'll be called *weirdos* and--even worst--LOSERS.   
  
Zim reacted.   
  
-Losers?? ... L-Losers?!! -he gasped-. NO ONE CALLS THE GREAT ZIM A *LOSER*!!   
  
-That's the spirit -Gaz whispered-. Now, if we don't want to become losers, then we must... ergh... socialize. That won't be easy, but if we do, then maybe we'll have support during the dance -Gaz paused... and gave Zim a tiny smile-. Let's go... It's time to kick some cool butts.   
  
-Hey... Nice way of talking... -Zim said, a little amazed at the she-beaststink.   
  
Gaz grabbed Zim's arm. The two walked amongst the crowd of kids. It was time to show that they were not the losers everyone thought.   


  
-o-

  



	5. Dance of Doom

  
  
**Author's Note:**   
I feel like I need to explain something. One of the reviewers of this fic had questioned Gaz's attitude as being "not her character" and stuff. I do admit this reviewer was right.   
"Valen-Evil-Tine" was originally written after watching just three Invader Zim episodes. I took Gaz's attitude as the one you read in here. She is the dark girl and she also has a fear she needs to beat.   
Since this fic is already finished (there's only one final chapter left), I didn't really want to change any of the plot. Considering episodes like "Game Slave 2", Gaz does act weaker, but she is the way I pictured her.   
Please, accept my apologies in case you didn't really like Gaz's personality in this fic.   
  
Now that I've bored you all with this little and pathetic speechy thing of...doom...you can read the current chapter.   
  
-o-   
  
**- Chapter 5 -   
Dance of Doom**

  
  
Six o'clock in the city. The sun was going down slowly, announcing the oncoming night. Valentines Day was still in the air, and the Valentine Dance Party in the skool's cafeteria was getting more exciting as the time for the Valentines Dance approached.   
  
-I quit...   
  
Gaz walked to a wall, looking away from the happy crowd of kids, and leaned her forehead on the vertical surface.   
  
-I quit... -she repeated-. Those morons don't want to talk to us... I am condemned to be a... a...   
  
-A loser? -Zim said as he approached his date.   
  
Gaz turned to look at Zim briefly.   
  
-Gee... Thanks for the moral help -she said sarcastically. Then she turned away.   
  
-Well, that is one of the main reasons I want to *squish* all this *filthy* hu-ma-ni-tee... -Zim protested-. They just can't see the superior being in front of their own eyes!!   
  
-Squish the humans... -Gaz whispered- ... I'm in. Just tell me when and where.   
  
Zim raised a non-existent eyebrow at his date. She wasn't looking at him, but at the wall.   
  
-You *want* to destroy your OWN race??   
  
Gaz sighed deeply, then looked at him once more, resting the side of her head against the wall.   
  
-You do not understand sarcasm, right? -Zim didn't reply-. I guessed so...   
  
Gaz returned her eyes to the wall.   
  
-Why would a human like you hate all of this? If I must be honest, your attitude related to this pitiful event doesn't match the rest of your fellow earthnoid customs.   
  
There was a moment of silence. Gaz slowly turned at him.   
  
-Let me tell you a story... -she said, making Zim raise an 'eyebrow' again.   


  
-o-

  
  
Dib and his date were talking to another couple of kids, next to a table with food.   
  
-I can not believe YOU got a date -the other boy told Dib.   
  
-Call it luck -Dib said, rolling his eyes.   
  
While his date talked to the others, he spotted some sandwiches on the table at his side. He was about to grab one with his free hand (because the nerdy girl didn't want to release the other arm), when a small black paw snatched the entire dish and dragged it down the table. Dib stared at the empty space on the table for a few second, and then he turned to his date and other friends.   
  
-Did you see that?! -he almost shouted.   
  
-See what? -the other boy said in a deep voice.   
  
-The sandwiches! -Dib pointed to the empty space-. They're gone!   
  
-Maybe you ate them -the other guy said.   
  
-I did not! Something under the table STOLE them!   
  
The three remaining kids stared at him in skepticism, and then they resumed their chat. Dib gave another glance at the table. He saw Gir in its puppy disguise appearing from under the table, waving a short "Hi!" to him, took another dish, and dove under the table again.   
  
-There's a ROBOT under the table! -Dib pointed, looking at his fellow humans.   
  
-Aw, cut it out, Dib! -the guy said.   
  
On the other side of the room, Gaz was finishing her story.   
  
-... and now I've tried to beat Valentines Day -she whispered bitterly- ... and I've failed.   
  
-I had *no* idea all this "valenines" thingy... eh... *thing* could be so... horrible -Zim said. Gaz had actually told him the reasons why she hated this day-. How is it that humans ALLOW this day to exist??   
  
-Because they all just suck -the purple-haired girl whispered sadly-. I hate this day. I hate it and final. I'll go home now.   
  
Zim gasped. Gaz finally released her forehead from the wall and began to walk to the door. The alien rushed and stood in her way.   
  
-Wait! You can't go now!   
  
-Tell Dib I went back home -Gaz said, managing a tiny glare-. And move away.   
  
-But I need a human for the dance, or they all will think I'm un-human! -Zim said worriedly.   
  
To his surprise, Zim noticed Gaz shudder at the mention of the "D" word.   
  
-I don't dance -she stated.   
  
-Huh?   
  
Gaz pushed him away and went out. Zim hurried to go after her.   
  
He caught several feet from the door, grabbing her shoulder with an alien hand.   
  
-Zim... get away -she warned, scowling at nothing-. I want to go home.   
  
-But... What happened to your wish of revenge? I do know of revenge! I know those things can't be forgotten so easily!   
  
-I'll live with the pain. Let me go.   
  
-At least stay for the dance!   
  
-I do *not* dance, Zim -Gaz shivered.   
  
-Why not??   
  
Gaz took her time to answer... and she did, right after turning to scowl at him. Her voice was filled with fear.   
  
-I... can't dance -Zim's 'eyebrows' shot up-. I never... learned -Gaz glanced at the street in front of her-. Valentines Day sucks too much already. I just... don't want to make it worse. This is not my day... it never was... It will never be, period. Now, Zim... Let. Me. Go.   
  
But Zim did not.   
  
-Maybe I can help you -he hissed. Gaz glanced at him and saw a strange gleam in his disguised eyes.   


  
-o-

  
  
-I'm telling you! There's a ROBOT under the table!!   
  
Dib kept pointing at the now almost empty table.   
  
-Geez, Dib if you're hungry, then fine, but don't say such a lie to hide it! -the other guy said. Dib's date giggled.   
  
-That's not a lie! I swear! There's...!   
  
-Aw, I've had enough. Bye, freako. Stay with your date and your, heh, "robot".   
  
The other couple left. Dib glanced at his own girl.   
  
-I swear; there's a robot under the table!   
  
-You're so funny! -his date just said, hugging him. They then separated-. I'll take some food from that table over there, heh, heh. I'll be right back.   
  
-Yeah, okay... -Dib muttered. He was observing the table.   
  
As soon as the girl was far enough away, Dib crouched and peeked under the table, raising the cloth. He saw Gir sitting on the floor ecstatically eating some of the food. The little SIR's eyes were almost closed in delight. Dib faintly noticed that it was holding a rubber piggy with its other hand.   
  
-A-HA! -Dib said. Gir glanced at him.   
  
-Hi! -it squeaked-. Meet the piggy!   
  
Gir slammed the squeaky pink rubber nose of the piggy against Dib's lips. He chocked in surprise and pushed the rubber piggy away.   
  
-I'll get ya! -Dib whispered. Gir smiled widely.   
  
-Ooohh!! -the tiny robot smiled. Next it "honked" Dib's nose-. Tag, you're it!! Hee-hee-hee!!   
  
Gir began to run, laughing and holding its "date" close to its little mechanical heart. Dib stood up, holding his hurt nose, and tracked his Nemesis' little helper.   
  
-Somebody, stop that green dog!! -he yelled.   
  
Most of the kids around glanced, astonished, at Dib, giving chase to a smiling, cute, little green pup holding a rubber piggy.   
  
-Okay, now I'm sure... -another kid said as Dib raced by-. Dib's finally gone nuts.   
  
-What do you mean 'finally'? -his date asked.   
  
Gir ran along the entire length of the cafeteria laughing childishly, still being chased by Dib. It went under tables, around other kids, OVER the tables.... OVER the other kids... until it escaped though the cafeteria's door, closing it when exiting.   
  
*SMACK!*   
  
Dib collided against the closed door, unable to stop.   
  
-Poor pathetic DOOMED kid... -Miss Bitters hissed as she slunk by.   
  
Dib "unglued" from the door; falling backwards onto the tiled floor. The door opened and Gir jumped on his stomach.   
  
-Kiss the piggy! -it happily squeaked, ramming the piggy's rubber nose against Dib's lips.   
  
He reacted, flailing his hands wildly. Gir jumped off his belly and disappeared out of Dib's sight. It was still maintaining a death-grip on its "date".   
  
Dib coughed, turned to face the floor, raised his body; managing to get on all fours. He looked up and searched for Gir everywhere. But he saw nothing. It seemed that Gir had hid under another table.   
  
-Oh, did you lose something?   
  
Dib looked up; his date was in front of him. Dib stood up, sweeping the dust off his clothes.   
  
-Nah, there was this robot and... Aww... nevermind.   
  
Scowling a little, Dib headed to another table with food. He was actually hungry after that short chase. His date rapidly hugged him by his arm. They reached the table and Dib served himself a cup of punch with his free hand.   
  
-Oh, the dance'll start anytime now! -his date informed the boy paranormalist. Dib didn't mind.   
  
-Right. Well, don't think I'm a great dancer. Aliens and hidden mysteries are my current business.   
  
-I don't dance that much either -she giggled-. And besides, everybody will dance badly compared to... Richard.   
  
-Richard? Who's that?   
  
-He's in his final year here. A good dancer from what I've heard.   
  
-Heh, heh... I already want the dance to start.   
  
-You do?   
  
-Of course I do -Dib said, and added to himself-, so I can finally unmask Zim. Yes... he will have to dance... and when THAT happens...   
  
Dib smiled, patting his tie with the free hand.   
  
*SPLASH!*   
  
Some of the nearby kids stepped back, soaked. Gir had dived into the punch, splattering the drink everywhere, and especially on Dib and his date.   
  
-Hey...! YOU! -Dib reacted, pointing at the green, smiling pup.   
  
-Tag! -the robot squeaked, smiling and touching Dib's nose with the tip of a black paw. Then, it jumped out of the punch and ran out the cafeteria.   
  
Dib, beyond mad, chased it one more time. The nerdy girl glanced at her drenched clothes... and smiled.   
  
-And yet this is one of my best dates, heh, heh, heh... -she said.   
  
Gir ran along the skool halls, laughing. Dib speeded up and approached his prey.   
  
-Stop right there! I demand a justifiable revenge! -Dib yelled.   
  
-Nah-naah!! You-Cannot-Catch-Meeeeeee!! -the small robot laughed as its escape was in progress.   
  
They ran along the whole skool, entering several classrooms, halls and even the bathrooms. All of a sudden, Gir stopped with a loud screech.   
  
-Uh-Ohhh...   
  
A dead end. There was a solid wall in front of it. The small robot turned. Dib was blocking the hall about twelve feet away. He seemed tired from running, but the recent events made him smile.   
  
-Finally... You're trapped...   
  
Dib stepped ahead... Gir stepped back. Dib stepped again... Gir stepped a little bit back. One more step from Dib... Gir tried to go backwards, but the wall was there.   
  
-You're trapped -Dib whispered-. Surrender now, and I might not disassemble you.   
  
Gir gulped, held its rubber piggy closer to its small body, and shaked its head.   
  
-Bad choice... -Dib smiled.   
  
In a quick movement, the boy pressed the knot of his tie. This raised, revealing the sticky tip of the wire inside. Gir's eyes widened a little. The wire was released, expanding and launching at Gir, who was about to be hit by the sticky tip. Gir was doomed.   
  
-TAKE COVER, PIGGY!! -the robot yelled, falling to the floor and over its piggy protectively. SIR unit and squeak toy avoided the sticky tip by inches. It collided against the wall and stuck there.   
  
-Dang! -Dib complained.   
  
Gir looked up at the wall. It stood up and waved at Dib.   
  
-Bye!   
  
Gir dashed out of sight, cradling its rubber piggy with both disguised hands.   
  
-Wait! -Dib yelled-. Come back! I had you! I had you! You weren't supposed to CROUCH!   
  
Dib pressed the knot of his tie to return it to normal.   
  
-Eh...?! WHOA!!   
  
*SMACK!*   
  
Since the sticky tip was stuck to the wall, and the wall was an immovable object, Dib was helplessly yanked forward as the wire compressed. His smashed body slid down the wall seconds later. His back hit the ground a nanosecond after the front of his body separated from the wall.   
  
-Once is bad... -his injured voice commented- ... but TWICE is way too embarrassing.   
  
Back in the cafeteria, Gir rushed in at top speed and jumped under the first table it found. Seconds later, Dib entered the place, dizzy and with his glasses hanging by his left ear.   
  
His date approached.   
  
-Oh, there you are! -she smiled-. The dance is about to start!   
  
-Daaance?- he repeated, clueless.   
  
-Yes, come on!!   
  
The girl hurriedly adjusted her date's glasses, and held both of his hands. Before Dib could react, the bracegirl had dragged him onto the dance floor in the center of the cafeteria.   
  
-W-What am I doing here?? -Dib asked woozily, shaking his head.   
  
The lights went down; the color lights and discoball hanging from the ceiling emitted bright, flashing rays of light; the music began to play: it was a twisting rock-n-roll.   
  
Dib's eyes widened.   
  
-The dance has *started*!! -he yelled.   
  
-Yeah! -the nerdy girl nodded.   
  
She adjusted her hold on Dib's hand and began to dance to the rhythm of the music, as were the rest of the kids.   
  
Dib wasn't really dancing, but nobody noticed it. He was wondering HOW did he get into such an annoying situation. The nerdy girl seemed to enjoy it, but all those movements were going to crack his spine even worse than the previous two slams against the walls and doors.   
  
-Yaay, this is funny! -the girl said.   
  
-Not for *meeeeee*!!! -Dib complained, but the music was too loud for anyone to hear his laments.   
  
Everybody danced, enjoying their time (except Dib). Even Gir cheered up and came out of its hideout, dancing near the wall with its rubber piggy.   
  
-Wait! Look! That green dog is dancing with a rubber piggy!!! -Dib yelled.   
  
-Yeah! Cool, isn't it? -the nearest kid yelled back.   
  
Dib couldn't believe that, but the nerdy girl had him busy enough with the dance. After about five minutes of painful steps, a voice was heard.   
  
-Oh, look, everybody! It's RICHARD! -a girl yelled over the music.   
  
There was silence, all of a sudden. The kids scooted away from the center, where two people were spotted: the blonde *cool* girl... and Richard... her date.   
  
Everyone glanced at them. The DJ started the music, and the couple began to dance. Richard, a big, handsome, blonde kid, did know how to move. The blonde girl didn't dance bad either.   
  
Everyone around was looking at the movements of the smiling couple... except Dib, of course. His mind and eyes were focused on Gir, who was still dancing with the piggy on a far table.   
  
The couple finished the dance with an impressive movement, ending with the last intense note of the song and placing the blonde girl, holding her head while being supported by Richard's hands. The kids clapped and some even whistled as the blondie straightened her body.   
  
-Okay, as I can see, Richard and I are the best dancers here -the blondie said, running a hand through her hair-. If any of you *think* you can beat us (as if it was possible), then step forward with their date.   
  
Sudden silence. Nobody moved.   
  
-Juuuuust what *I* thought... -the blondie said, folding arms-. You all are pure lo...   
  
*SLAM!*   
  
All the heads turned to the cafeteria's door. It was closed... but it sounded as if something had slammed it.   
  
*SLAM!*   
  
They were sure, this time. SOMETHING had slammed it. Everybody was staring at the main double-door expectantly. All except Gir, who was still dancing with the piggy.   
  
*WHAM!!*   
  
The kids gasped as the double-door opened wide. Two feet from two different persons went down after having kicked the door. Two forms were spotted at the door frame, silhouetted by the intense light of the hallway. The bright light diminished as the eyes of everybody in the cafeteria got used to the lights outside.   
  
-Zim! -Dib gasped.   
  
Zim... and Gaz too. Both standing at the door, with statement of determination and rigid arms (plus closed fists) at each side of their bodies.   
  
-We heard there was a *dance* here! -Zim announced.   
  
-And we want to dance -Gaz hissed.   
  
The kids in front of the door, one to one, began to move aside, forming a path from the door to the center of the hall, where the blondie and Richard were. Zim and Gaz began to walk at the same time. Dib observed his sister and his Nemesis going by... and he also noticed Gaz was also wearing the strange boots with small lights Zim had.   
  
The odd couple stopped in front of the blondie. The path behind them closed.   
  
-Oh, no... Look who's here -the blondie said-. Don't tell me you'll try dancing. I might die laughing.   
  
Zim and Gaz both sent murderous looks at the girl.   
  
-Move -Gaz slowly hissed. The blondie didn't mind the tone, but stepped back anyway, leaving them alone in the center of the hall.   
  
-MUSIC! -Zim screamed, sending a trembling finger to the air.   
  
The DJ obeyed. He inserted a new CD in the player. The music began to play. Another rock-n-roll twistin' tune.   
  
-Don't let panic control you -Zim whispered to Gaz-. Just let it go.   
  
-I'm not afraid -she whispered at him.   
  
The music was being heard clearly... but they didn't move. Five seconds of music without dance... it was like five YEARS for both Zim and Gaz. Ten seconds... the blondie drew a disgusting smile of satisfaction. Fifteen seconds... a couple kids at the back began to chuckle at the motionless dancers.   
  
-Be patient... -Zim whispered, sweating a little.   
  
-I'm trying... -Gaz whispered, also sweating.   
  
Twenty seconds... half of the kids were giggling. Zim's breath became hard. He could hear Gaz's too.   
  
-What a bunch of LOSERS! -the blonde girl happily said, pointing with an accusing finger.   
  
All the kids around were laughing at this point. Zim could see Gaz, sweating and trembling.   
  
Thirty seconds... and something happened. A small *CLICK!* was heard. Zim looked down. His boots where blinking.   
  
-NOW!!! -he screamed, stopping the laughs in all the cafeteria and calling the attention of everyone in the room.   
  
What happened next was unexpected. Zim and Gaz, following every single note of the music, began to move their limbs. The laughs stopped at all, and the blonde girl dropped her jaw.   
  
-What the...???   
  
The boots were doing the job for Zim and Gaz, forcing their feet to follow the rhythms of the music. Even their hands followed the rhythms of music, moving along with the feet.   
  
-Unbelievable! -Dib gasped, seeing how his sister was dancing.   
  
The rock tune playing requested twists, turns and hops... and all of them were perfectly performed by the boots. Zim and Gaz were two in the same body in that coordinated dance. Finally, the last note requested a swing with the couple, so Zim held Gaz's back and "dropped" her, stopping her fall one miserable inch before her head hit the floor. They stayed there, *gazing* into each other's eyes. Gaz knew in that moment she had achieved her goal... She had beaten Valentines Day... at last.   
  
The rest of the kids were living proof of that fact, clapping and howling hoorays at the couple, which soon straightened and greeted the compliments.   
  
Gaz approached the blonde girl, drawing a tiny smile. The blonde girl was jaw-dropped.   
  
-Oh, I'm sooooorry for having beaten you and Richy! -Gaz smiled-. But don't worry... It isn't *that* bad being a LOSER!   
  
-I... am... NOT!! -the blonde girl screamed, suddenly running out the cafeteria with Richard after her.   
  
-Revenge is sweet... and tasty too -Gaz smiled in satisfaction.   
  
-Thanks! Thanks a lot! -Zim said, while bowing again and again-. Yes... Give me the respect I *do* deserve!   
  
Dib made his way through the crowd, finally reaching the edge of the circle of kids, at Zim's back.   
  
-There! -he said-. This is the chance I've been waiting for! Take this, Zim! The world will know the truth!!!   
  
Dib "aimed" at Zim's wig, and then he pressed the knot of his tie. It raised for the third time in the day, and the wire launched at Zim. Too bad for Dib, Zim bent to greet another compliment and the sticky tip flew over him, continuing its trip until it hit the wall on the other side.   
  
-Oh, no! -Dib gasped, extending his hands-. Please! Nobody touch the knot of my tie!   
  
-What is this? -Gaz said, approaching-. Were you trying to ruin my date??   
  
-No, no! I was not! -Dib said, scared-. I just wanted to...!! NO, GAZ, DON'T!!   
  
She pressed Dib's tie knot. Zim bent to receive another compliment just in time to avoid Dib, who went by at top speed, screaming, then being thrown into the wall because of the wire attached to his tie.   
  
*SLAM!!*   
  
Zim started.   
  
-What was that?!   
  
-Nothing we should worry about -Gaz said, approaching.   
  
Dib, on the other side of the room, slid down and fell on his back for the third time that night.   
  
-I *hate* Valentines Day... -he whimpered.   


  
-o-

  



	6. The pitiful ending

**   
--o--   
  
- Chapter 6 -   
The pitiful ending   
  
--o--**

  
  
The crowd of kids finished with the congratulations to the best couple (Zim and Gaz) after ten minutes of compliments. After that, everybody's attention was focused again on their own couples. Gaz celebrated it in her own way, eating the largest slice of pizza from the only table not visited by Gir. Zim was at her side, but refused to eat.   
  
-Yeargh... you and your *filthy* human food. I can not digest that junk -Zim protested.   
  
-Thoo bahd -Gaz said, chewing.   
  
-Ah, whatever... -Zim turned-. At least everything ended well. This is another victory for *Zim*! I proved I can be human enough...   
  
-Tha blondy thook off, rhunnin'...   
  
-Yeah... -Zim smiled, then turned at Gaz-. Let me tell you I had never meet such an inhuman character like you, never since the first time I stepped on this dusty rock of painful... pain.   
  
-Whelcom'...   
  
Music was heard again... A slow love song.   
  
-Ick... -Zim said, looking at the loudspeakers-. You, humans, have a strange taste with music.   
  
-I theenk so...   
  
Zim noticed all the kids beginning to dance again, holding their dates close. Dib, still stunned because of the last blow against a wall, went by, being forced to dance with the nerdy girl. Even Gir was slowly dancing with its rubber piggy close to it. Zim and Gaz glanced at the scene.   
  
-How... pathetic -Zim commented.   
  
Gaz nodded. A *CLICK!* was heard. It startled both Zim and Gaz, who hurried to look down. Their boots where blinking again.   
  
-The dancing boots! -Zim gasped-. I forgot we still have...!   
  
Before Zim could finish that sentence, the boots, following the slow tune, forced Zim and Gaz to dance again, this time, facing each other very close.   
  
-Zim, stop this! -Gaz whispered, trying to control her feet. Zim hurried to hold her with his hands, one on her back, and the other grasping her hand-. What are you doing?? -the girl scowled.   
  
-Pretend you're dancing! -the alien whispered, worried-. The boots won't stop until the music does!   
  
-Grrr... fine... -Gaz protested. She also held him.   
  
To Zim and Gaz's disgust, the boots slowly brought them to the center of the dance hall.   
  
-How brilliant of you -Gaz whispered-. "Use these boots", you told me. "They'll start dancing about thirty seconds after the music begins, so they'll learn the music patterns", you said... How witty of you.   
  
-Okay, fine! I admit I forgot to turn them off! -Zim whispered back-. It's just a slow dance, that's all! After it, I'm turning them off for good. I don't want to be dancing, anyway.   
  
-Neither do I... -Gaz scowled.   
  
The boots kept them dancing, while some other couples went to their sides. Some greeted them; some also congratulated them for their steps... but one couple meant trouble.   
  
The brace-girl, still holding a really stunned Dib, approached, dancing.   
  
-Heh, heh, you two are a nice couple -she said.   
  
-Yeah, sure, whatever -Gaz murmured.   
  
-Heh, how lucky of you. I should have chosen Zim when he asked me to.   
  
Gaz raised her head a little. Zim didn't noticed this.   
  
-What do you... mean -Gaz hissed, turning her head at the nerdy girl.   
  
-Well, he asked me to be his dance date, which nobody else had ever done, heh, heh, but your brother also wanted to ask me out. So, you're lucky having him.   
  
The nerdy girl resumed her dance, not really realizing what she had just done. Gaz turned her scowling eyes to Zim.   
  
-What? -Zim asked, not worried, when he noticed his date was scowling.   
  
-So... -she hissed-, THAT is why Dib actually got a date, eh? -Zim blinked-. He just beat you at getting that dorky girl.   
  
-Yes, so? -Zim just said.   
  
-And then... you chose *me* because I was the last girl in the city without a darn date... isn't that right, *Zim*??   
  
Zim realized Gaz was not exactly "pleased" about it. She was almost crushing his hand with hers.   
  
-What's so wrong about it? -Zim defended-. You beat "valenines" Day. You achieved your goal. Why are you making such a big deal?   
  
-Because -Gaz slowly, painfully said-. *I* am HUMAN... Zim. Maybe I can be dark, or cold... or whatever you or any of the *pathetic*, dumb, idiotic other kids think... but *I* also have feelings.   
  
Gaz found it hard to say the few last words. Her voice sounded drowned.   
  
-Big deal -Zim muttered-. I'm here *only* because I was forced. I was planning to use a robot as a date, but Dib said he would discover it, so, I had to use a *human* instead.   
  
He did it. Gaz took a huge, deep sigh... held it for a while... and released it, heavily. A tear appeared from one of her eyes.   
  
-I haven't beaten Valentines Day at all... -Gaz hissed-. It will always be a dark day for me. Nothing good will really happen... *You* have just proven it.   
  
Zim didn't want to reply, although he realized his date was not happy at all, and he was supposed to keep her happy.   
  
-As soon as the music stops -she warned him-, as soon as this... *painful* and horrible dance is over... I will release you, maybe PUSH you... and then I'll ran away, crying... feeling miserable... feeling like the most meaningless human ever...   
  
There was a bright flash.   
  
-STOP IT!! -a younger Gaz screamed-. STOP IT!! I AM NOT A LOSER!! I AM NOT!!   
  
The semi-circle of kids approached her, screaming "LOSER!" at the top of their lungs. Gaz, kneeling and holding her head with both hands, suddenly stood up and ran away, dropping bright tears of fear and pain in the path, making her way among the crowd of kids yelling the "L" word at her. She ran out the cafeteria and out skool too, but she tripped when going down the stoop and, with a short scream, she met the floor.   
  
She stayed there, motionless, whimpering, not really wanting to stand up again. The echoes of the kids, still yelling the "L" word, came at her ears from the cafeteria.   
  
-I hate Valentines Day! -she cried, pounding the solid ground with a tight, closed, little fist-. I hate it! I hate it!! I HATE IT!!!   
  
A new bright flash.   
  
-... just as it happened... the last time I dared coming to a darn Valentines Day Dance -Gaz, shivering, whispered.   
  
Zim didn't reply. Somehow, he didn't feel he should. Gaz was trembling, he could tell by his hands on her back and hand; her breath was deep and strong, also cut; and she had tears in her eyes, so many bright, tiny tears of sadness. For a girl who didn't show emotions, this was shocking to see, even for Zim.   
  
The slow love song ended... the kids (and the boots) stopped dancing... but Zim didn't release Gaz.   
  
-Let me go- Gaz whispered.   
  
Zim doubted, but obeyed. His hands went back to both sides of his body. Gaz glanced at him for a few seconds, like she were waiting him to do something... like she were waiting him to STOP her, before she left. Zim didn't move. Gaz sniffed loudly, turned, and walked to the cafeteria's door, Zim's eyes following her. Gaz pushed the door... she stopped. The girl glanced over her shoulder, but Zim was still in the same place.   
  
She broke down and went out, running and crying.   
  
-I wonder -Zim whispered- if this unexpected reaction could influence my mission tonight.   
  
He looked around. All the kids were with their dates. Nobody really noticed Gaz exiting. Zim was the only one alone. That couldn't be normal.   
  
Zim spotted Gir (without its disguise), bringing another dish with food under a table. He went there and hid under it, meeting his fellow mate.   
  
-Gir! I...   
  
-Kiss the piggy!   
  
Gir sent the rubber nose of the piggy to its master's lips, but Zim was quicker and stopped it with a hand. He scowled.   
  
-This is SERIOUS, Gir... -he hissed-. I believe I've made some mistake with my human... but I do not realize what. What does your recorded data say?   
  
Gir's eyes turned red. It seemed as if it was submerged in a deep thought. The robot finally answered.   
  
-I don't know, sir! Please, be more specific!   
  
Zim growled.   
  
-She heard I chose her as a last chance option and she freaked out, okay?? -the alien almost screamed.   
  
To his surprise, Gir's eyes become cyan, but the robot did not smile. It sent both metal hands to its head, dropping the rubber piggy.   
  
-How... could... you??? -it squeaked, curiously horrified.   
  
-Huh? -Zim raised an eyebrow.   
  
-Humans do not like to feel they're second in anything, master! -the robot gasped-. Specially Valentine DATES!! They want to feel as if they are all their date thinks about! They want to feel they're special!! What you just did was incorrect!!   
  
-What?! -Zim spat-. You mean all a person can do to make someone else happy can be RUINED just by a single, senseless quotation?!   
  
-Yes! -the robot squeaked.   
  
Zim turned, lost in a thought.   
  
-This is not good! Not good at all! The success of our mission this night is based on keeping my date happy! -he gulped-. And I just failed!   
  
Zim raised the tablecloth and peeked to the cafeteria's door... then at Gir.   
  
-I'll try to find her and... I don't know... do something to fix all this!   
  
-Kay!   
  
Zim came out from under the table, heading the door. Gir took the rubber piggy and glanced at it.   
  
-Whaaat? ... Oh, yes! My master will need help! Good idea, piggy!   
  
Gir jumped into its pup suit, and went after its master.   
  
Zim came out of the cafeteria, looking everywhere. He spotted something, next to a gateway. It was one of the dancing boots Gaz had. Zim crouched and picked it up, examining it carefully. Gir appeared next to him.   
  
-Gir! Use your electric wave detector and find the matching frequency for the other boot! -the alien ordered.   
  
-Yes, sir! -Gir obeyed.   
  
The green pup turned and dashed at top speed... colliding against the wall behind it. Gir fell backwards to the floor.   
  
-I'm okay! -the robot squeaked-. I'm on the way!!   
  
Gir stood up in a jump, grabbed its rubber piggy and dashed away again, following the hallway. Zim ran after it.   
  
-Go! Go, my searching robot! -he yelled-. Find my date!   
  
Gir reached a fork. It stopped and glanced at the many entrances.   
  
-There! -it pointed at one of the halls-. I can sense the missing boot! It is that way! Yaaay, follow meeeeee!!!   
  
Gir resumed the search, running hastily. Zim went after it.   
  
The small robot lead Zim down several hallways, turning at various corners and forks, going up by a couple of staircases... and, finally...   
  
-There it is!! Wheeee, I found it!!   
  
Gir stopped in front of the second boot. Zim approached and examined it.   
  
-The cords were wildly cut -Zim observed-. I think she had problems to take this off, so she CUT the cords.   
  
He raised his sight. In front of the boot there was a semi-opened door, with a sign on it which read "ROOF". Zim opened the door. There was a dark staircase, going up to the outside, as the blinking stars of the black sky made Zim realize.   
  
-Gaz? -he asked. Nobody replied-. Human date?   
  
No answer. Zim climbed the stairs. He appeared on the skool's roof.   
  
The alien slowly scanned the surroundings... until his disguised eyes found his date. Gaz was sitting on the border of the roof, her back to Zim. She didn't seem to notice the alien had reached the roof.   
  
Zim walked to her. Gir appeared by the roof door as its master began to walk. The alien gave unsure steps in total silence. He heard something... a soft sobbing, also a few sniffs.   
  
-Stop right there -Gaz hissed, not turning at Zim.   
  
Zim froze. He was still far away from her.   
  
-Go away -she whispered.   
  
-I am here to make you feel happy -Zim said in a strange tone.   
  
Gaz didn't move, neither she replied in that same moment.   
  
-If you want to make me happy -she said, seconds later-, then GO AWAY!   
  
Zim smiled.   
  
-Okay, human couple!   
  
He turned, and headed to the staircases, wrongly thinking that was all he needed to do... but he stopped when spotting Gir, guarding the door. It was scowling and shaking its puppy head, embracing its piggy.   
  
Zim raised an eyebrow at it in confusion. Gir pointed at Gaz with a puppy hand. Zim glanced at her over his shoulder. She was still sobbing, not turning at him. Zim's exit wasn't making her happy at all.   
  
Zim glanced again at Gir. His fellow robot repeated the indication with its paw. Zim understood; it was advising him to go at her. Zim nodded, turned, and walked at the lone girl.   
  
-Excuse me... -Zim said when stopping right after her.   
  
-I told you to go away -she hissed with drowned voice, not turning at him-. Why can't you follow such a simple order?   
  
-Because my current mission is to make my human date happy -he explained, scowling a little.   
  
Gaz, once more, didn't reply or turn.   
  
-You did enough, tonight -she finally said-. Leave me alone, before you do something stupider. I had enough Valentines havoc for my entire life... this night in particular.   
  
Zim didn't reply. Gaz continued.   
  
-Dad never seemed to care... my *friends* ignored me... and tonight, even an ALIEN admitted he had to choose me as a last chance -she hissed, and finally turned her head at him-. Don't make this worse.   
  
Zim saw her tears. Gaz turned again, glancing at the city at the other side of the street. The alien sat next to her, but she didn't seemed to notice.   
  
-The human race is…rather hard to understand -he said finally-. You all have so many unexpected reactions that it becomes hard, even for an Invader of my knowledge, to keep track of every possible attitude.   
  
-Great, I'm going through a Valentines Day crisis and *YOU* are giving me alien history classes -she whispered-. Don't you know how to make a girl happy? -she turned at him.   
  
Zim didn't reply. Gaz sighed, turning again at the city.   
  
-Why don't you try saying something nice? -she scowled-. I wouldn't really mind, you know?   
  
Zim looked aside. Gir was at his side. The alien glanced at it, confused. The tiny robot was acting strange, pointing at Zim and kissing its rubber piggy several times in its pink, rubber nose. Zim preferred to ignore that strange behavior and ask...   
  
-Like what?   
  
Gaz glanced at the sky, and saw the magnificent white full moon, shining behind a couple clouds.   
  
-The moon... -she whispered- ... Look at it... What do you think of it?   
  
Zim glanced at the moon... but scowled.   
  
-That? Ha! Just a useless piece of rock, orbiting around this even more useless, dusty planet of... *dust*.   
  
Gaz glanced at him.   
  
-Gee, you know how to be romantic, don't you? -she growled.   
  
Zim shrugged. Gaz returned her sight to the city. The alien heard a "Psstt!" and turned. Gir was pointing at him, again, and kissing the piggy several times. Zim raised an eyebrow and wondered if his robot needed a new Common Sense chip.   
  
-How about... the stars? -Gaz said, looking up at the infinite black-. What do you think of them?   
  
-Ah, the stars! -Zim said, looking away from Gir and focusing on the many blinking dots over their heads-. I love them!   
  
Gaz turned at him, smiling a little.   
  
-Do you?   
  
-Yes... The Irken Empire will one day *RULE* all those suns and their planetary systems! -he smiled evilly-. And *I* will be part of it, as soon as I conquer this planet!   
  
Gaz's smile went away.   
  
-I'm wasting my time with you -she whispered, turning her lowered head-. I'm condemned to a life of Valentines Nightmares...   
  
Zim glanced at her, worried. He wasn't making her any happier, even after his speeches, he thought. What was he doing wrong??   
  
-... no matter how hard I try -she resumed, dropping a few tears-, nobody will *ever* realize I do have... feelings.   
  
She got quiet. Zim examined her, carefully, not knowing what to do next. Something pulled his sleeve. Zim turned and found Gir, scowling and grabbing him by his arm with a black paw. The pup released him and repeated the mimics. It pointed at Zim... and then it began to KISS the rubber piggy.   
  
Zim was fed up of that stupid actions. Without Gaz noticing it, he snatched the rubber piggy from Gir's hands in a quick movement. Gir got sad and Zim muttered a quick "Stop bothering!".   
  
Zim, scowling, turned his attention to the city... and then at the piggy in his hands. He didn't want it.   
  
-Here, take it... -he said, numbly, extending a hand with the piggy right under Gaz's eyes... a couple of eyes which suddenly widened, showing big, shiny, amber, square pupils.   
  
Two trembling hands slowly touched the rubber surface of the toy animal. Zim released his own hand and folded both over his chest, while his scowling eyes kept focused on the sky, thinking on a solution to his problem.   
  
He didn't realize the solution had been already reached.   
  
-F-For me...?   
  
Zim turned. Gaz was staring at the little piggy with widened eyes. She slowly turned at him. To Zim's astonishment, she actually smiled at him.   
  
-Thanks... -she whispered-. Thanks a lot... I... Nobody... Nobody ever...   
  
She had problems talking, but Zim recognized her current feelings as...   
  
-Happiness??? -the alien said-. You seem happy!   
  
-I am -Gaz whispered, holding the rubber piggy closer-. This is the... the best... Valentines present I ever had... -her eyes shone-. Thanks.   
  
-I did it! -Zim cheered, raising both hands to the infinite black-. I made my date happy! I proved I can be human enough! I...!   
  
He stopped. There was something wrong. Gaz had slid a little, getting closer to him.   
  
-Hey, what's wrong with you? -the alien said, glancing at her shining eyes.   
  
Gaz's smile kept tiny, but visible. Her eyes were totally opened and shiny. Her hands held the piggy close to her chest... to her *heart*. She was staring at Zim, and he could feel some kind of odd aura around. He wasn't comfortable for that sight, so he looked down, but he noticed her naked feet, hanging from the roof, were being swung in joy. He gulped and turned at Gir.   
  
-Gir! -he whispered, worried-. I believe the human next to me is having some kind of diseaseful disease, or something! She's acting really strange! What is it??   
  
The small pup smiled.   
  
-I think it's *loooooove*... -it said, almost singing the words.   
  
-What? -Zim asked... but something called his attention.   
  
He felt something holding his shoulder... a hand. He turned (with fear) and found Gaz, still smiling at him with both wide eyes fixed on his. She left the rubber piggy at a side, so she could hold his remaining shoulder with her newly free hand.   
  
-Don't you worry! -Zim exclaimed as Gaz slowly approached her head to his-. I might be able to find a cure for whatever you are going through! I need to keep you happy, so I...!   
  
He wasn't able to keep talking... because Gaz had glued her lips to his.   
  
-So... beautiful... -Gir said, sweeping a tear off.   
  
Gaz kept her eyes closed during the kiss. Zim had his own very open. They finally separated. Gaz opened wide her eyes. Zim seemed paralyzed.   
  
-Thanks for everything, Zim -she just said.   
  
Zim felt something. That strange aura... the closeness... the warmth... He finally reacted.   
  
-AAAAAAHHHHH!!! -he screamed, standing up in a quick jump and waving arms in panic-. I'VE BEEN CONTAMINATED WITH *NASTY* HUMAN BACTERIUM!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!   
  
Zim was so panicked that he began to run around, finally falling off the edge of the roof, right to the grass below. Gir ran after his master, stopped right on the border and turned at Gaz.   
  
-Bye! -the small robot squeaked-. Take care of the piggy!   
  
And with that, it jumped after his master, emitting a loud "Wheeee!" of joy.   
  
-I will... -Gaz said, focusing her amber eyes on the bright moon up there.   


**  
--o--**

  
  
Zim walked back home, being helped by Gir because he was dragging a leg (result of the fall).   
  
-Master has a new friend? -the robot smiled.   
  
-Quiet, Gir! -Zim protested, painfully-. This "Valenines" Day thingy was one of the most DANGEROUS experiences of my whole life as the Invader I am... I'm just glad this is finally over.   
  
-She seemed nice to me -the robot squeaked.   
  
-I won't deny she is different -he whispered-. Maybe the only human I've met who doesn't ACT like any of the other stinking, annoying critters around. She even happens to have the common sense of hating all this human party foolishness.   
  
They reached the base. Gir opened the door for its master.   
  
-Thanks Gir...   
  
-You like her? -it said.   
  
-Like *her*?? -Zim shouted-. I *HATE* all the humans! Remember, Gir, Irken Invaders need no friendship! No one!!   
  
-Oh...   
  
The small robot got sad, and went inside the house. Zim dragged his injured leg in, and was about to close the door of his HQ... when she noticed the moon, up in the dark sky.   
  
Zim glanced at it... so big... so white... just like Gaz. For a couple of seconds, the alien imagined it had purple hair and two scowling eyes. The moon surface resembled Gaz's skin color.   
  
-Ah!   
  
The alien gasped, stepping back. The moon had returned to normal. Zim sighed deeply.   
  
-But I'm afraid... this is not just... -and he gulped- ... a *friendship*...   
  
He closed the door of the house, slowly, to go to rest.   


**  
--o--**

  
  
Dib seemed injured and angry. He was holding the door open from the inside of the house, so his couple could keep talking to him at the other side of the door.   
  
-Heh, heh, oh, thanks for such a fun night! -the nerdy girl said-. It was one of the best...   
  
*SLAM!*   
  
-Finally! -Dib whispered at the ceiling, smiling, after having slammed the door on his date's face.   
  
-Thanks for everything! -the giggling voice of his date said from the other side of the wooden surface, while Dib was heading to his room.   
  
He went by Gaz on his way to the room, but he didn't notice her. He was much too tired and injured to think. He only wanted to lie on his bed and forget this night ever happened.   
  
Gaz glanced at him when he went by, scowling as she used to, but also embracing something with both arms. A small pink rubber piggy. She looked aside and spotted something on the floor. The branch of roses Zim had brought to her, that same afternoon. She didn't smile, but went and scooped it up. Then, she headed to the kitchen and filled a jar with water; took the paper of the branch away, and submerged the green cuts of the roses in the fresh liquid.   
  
Gaz took the jar and left it on the small table in the living room.   
  
-That Zim guy -she whispered- is one of the freakiest, odd, and strangest beings I've ever met... -and she smiled- ... just like me...   
  
She walked to her room, but stopped after a few steps, turned, and returned to the jar with roses. She grabbed the entire bunch, taking it out the water and putting them back in, but turned upside-down... just like Zim had given them to her. She smiled again, raising the rubber piggy and glancing at it.   
  
-Let's go to sleep, piggy...   
  
She left the room and went to bed, happy, for the first time in a Valentines Day. She beaten it... she knew it. She knew she would not have nightmares that night...   
  
... not that special Valentines night.   


  
**-The End-**

  



End file.
